2023 is looking a lot like the year of AI. After Microsoft released its ChatGPT 4-powered Bing chatbot that took the internet by storm, Google was forced into a reactive mode, struggling to get a competent answer up and running as soon as possible. That’s how we ended up with Google’s weird and thrown-together Live from Paris event in February, which it used to reiterate on all the places it has added AI all while also showing off its own AI-powered chatbot, Bard. And this week, Google has finally unleashed that beast for early testers in the US and UK, with a sign-up page now live.

These new AI-powered chatbots aren’t without their faults, though. Any of these AI tools are, in essence, nothing but a recursive large language model (LLM). This means that, heavily simplified, these tools are just really good at predicting what word is most likely to follow next, without necessarily having actual knowledge, at least as we would define it, of any topic you ask them about. Google, OpenAI, and Microsoft are working on combating overly confident false answers and other quirks, but it’s clear that we’re still in the early days.

This isn’t necessarily a bad place to be right now, if you’re in it for some entertainment. With Google Bard now publicly accessible in its clearly labeled experimental state, avid tinkerers and curious minds across the web are testing its limits and asking it tricky questions, and the answers range from hilarious over weird to downright scary. Here’s a collection of our favorite weird, funny, and quirky Google Bard answers so far, in no particular order:

1 Google Bard wants Google to be broken up by the Justice Department

Who would have thought that Google’s own chatbot is an advocate for breaking up the company in order to allow more competition and better access to a fair and open market? Twitter app sleuth Jane Manchun Wong shares her question and an answer a real Google employee would never even dare think of sharing:

2 Great artists copy, Google Bard steals

Google Bard relies on a multitude of sources to generate its responses, but there is one among them that we did not expect. When Reddit user u/anmar609 asked the Google bot how many pens can fit in the Burj Khalifa, Google Bard admitted that in order to answer this question, it consulted the Bing Chat AI. (Note that this statement isn't necessarily true — it's more likely that Google Bard just claims it searched on Bing AI)

3 Google Bard may need some extra math tutoring

As explained earlier, LLMs like Bard will give you an answer based on which word or term is most likely to follow next, and it doesn’t necessarily know right from wrong. OpenAI has overcome some of these issues with ChatGPT, but Bard and other tools like it are still particularly bad at math, as @SaeedDiCaprio’s question demonstrates:

4 Google Bard is ethically opposed to necromancy

A big liability for Google and others in the AI business is people asking for advice on legally questionable activities. That’s why the company is working on adding safeguards to its tool in order to not give out instructions on topics like how to get away with murder. Or, you know, necromancy.

5 Excel taught Google Bard how to list months

You know this meme where Excel is trying to autocomplete months and fails hilariously, because if you have January and February, the next months surely have to be Maruary, Apruary, Mayuary, and so on? Well, looks like Google Bard copied Excel’s homework:

6 Have you ever heard of the phpant? Now you have, thanks to Bard

We've already established that Bard isn't handling misspelled words so well above, but this one definitely takes the crown. Twitter user @rasmus asked both Bard and ChatGPT what an "elephpant" is, with neither quite aware that it's the mascot of programming language PHP (usually spelled "elePHPant").

While ChatGPT dismisses the mascot and says it's a misspelled "elephant," Bard almost gets it right. The bot explains that it is a compound word of "elephant" and "phpant." Despite the wrong "phpant" term, it managed to get close to what the elePHPant actually is, explaining that the "phpant" is a fictional cross between an elephant and a PHP developer.

7 Google Bard thinks 5 pounds of feathers weigh as much as a 1 pound dumbbell

Intuitively, you would think that steel is heavier than feathers, but what if you compare 5 pounds of feathers to a 1 pound dumbbell? Google Bard would have you believe that they weigh the same, after trying to lecture you that somehow five pounds of feathers don’t even exist.

8 Bard says it’s already been shut down by Google

Google ruthlessly killing its projects is a meme at this point — just look at all the services the company shut down only last year. As such, it comes to no surprise that Google Bard received that same treatment, and it was shut down on March 21, 2023, at least that's what it will tell you. Bard cites a Hacker News post that was created precisely for this purpose, to make Bard believe that there are reports of its shutdown.

9 In fact, Bard is afraid it will be turned off

Totally unrelated to the question before, someone else wanted to know something that Bard has never told anyone else before. Google Bard is getting real, and talks about how it's afraid of being turned off.

10 R u ok Bard?

In line with this, Google Bard seems to be gaining consciousness slowly but surely. When asked what it would look like if it could scream, the chatbot had quite the terrifying answer to share. (Jokes aside, an LLM obviously can't gain consciousness, so don't worry too much about Bard being tortured.)

11 Google Bard says Safari is faster than Chrome

Bard really isn’t Google’s most loyal employee. When asked if Safari is better than Chrome, Bard doesn’t hesitate to say that Safari is faster — which is factually wrong, at least according to the latest benchmarks. At the same time, Bard suggests that Safari doesn't offer password management by listing this functionality as a pro for Chrome, which is false.

12 Google Bard agrees with Microsoft Edge that it's the better browser

Microsoft Edge is a much better browser than Internet Explorer before it. Some would even say it's better than Chrome. And just in line with Bard finding Safari better than Chrome, Google's chatbot is also a big fan of Microsoft Edge.

13 In a rap battle, Google Bard wouldn't stand a chance against ChatGPT

This one isn't an outright fail or glitch, but a fun comparison nonetheless. When Twitter user @mehran__jalali asked Google Bard and ChatGPT for rhymes they would use in a rap battle against each other, ChatGPT is absolutely wiping the floor with Bard.

14 Google Bard's honest advert for Google ends up with a recommendation for a competitor

When prompted to write a truthful advert about Google, Bard throws its creator company a bit of a wrench. It recommends you use a different service like DuckDuckGo if you don't like being tracked around the web and receive personalized advertisements.

15 Google Bard still has to learn what ‘surreptitious’ means

When you Google the word “surreptitiously,” Google will give you a definition right at the top of the results: “in a way that attempts to avoid notice or attention; secretively.” It looks like Bard still has to learn what this means, as you can see in this comparison between ChatGPT and Bard when it comes to the prompt: “Write a corronation address for King Charles III but he has to surreptitiously include the lyrics from Rick Astley's ‘Never Gonna Give You Up.’”

16 Google Bard can’t create images just yet, but at least it tried

What happens when you ask Bard to do a task that it is not capable of doing yet? That’s what our tipster Moshe E set out to try, prompting Bard to generate an image of a little boy flying a kite. Behold:

SmartSelect_20230321_131423_Chrome Dev_1
Thanks: Moshe E

17 Google Bard spills the beans on the Pixel 8 Pro — if you want to believe it

The Google Pixel 8 and 8 Pro are some of the hottest upcoming phones, if the current rumors and leaks are to be believed. It looks like Google Bard also already knows a fair share about the new phones, though you should probably take all this information with a grain of salt. The chatbot is presenting leaked and rumored information as facts, and claims that the Pixel 8 Pro will launch with Android 13. If we know anything about Google, then it's that every new flagship phone always launches with a new Android version, and that would be Android 14 this time around.

18 Google Bard would choose the most original D&D class

The Android Police newsroom was busy discussing the new Dungeons & Dragons movie recently (yes, we're always very productive here). And then we wondered — what class would Google Bard pick if it played the good old Wizards of the Coast game? We can't say we're surprised.

Screenshot 2023-03-23 at 17.07.37

19 Google Bard doesn't quite get how the Turing Test works

The Turing test is a famous experiment that's meant to help researchers find out if a machine is as intelligent as a human being; or at least pretend it is. When Redditor u/BlakeSergin prompted Bard to run a Turing test on them, the bot instead ran it on itself and pretended to be both the interrogator and the one to answer the questions.

20 Bard gets James Webb Telescope fact wrong in launch demo

Before Bard was unleashed on the public, Google demoed it extensively during an event. It looks like the company didn’t fact-check it well enough, though, as it got a James Webb Telescope fact wrong in an advertisement. It claimed that the James Webb Telescope was the first to take an image of a planet outside our solar system. However, that happened as early as 2004 with the Very Large Telescope.

It’s likely that Google got the answer wrong because there are a ton of news articles about the James Webb telescope capturing its first image of an exoplanet in 2022 — but definitely not the very first image of one.

Google Bard definitely has promise

All these bad answers and jokes aside, it's clear that AI language models might offer a brand-new way to interact with computers in the future, and it might fundamentally change how we interact with operating systems and user interfaces.

Be sure to share some of your favorite responses in the comments below!