It's been over half a year since the last installment of the AP Files was published, and the world has undergone some drastic changes. There's a squeezable phone. Bezel-less phones now dominate the world. And the newest LG phones haven't had any major reports of bootlooping. I'm sorry, I had to.
Six months is indeed quite a long time, and it's definitely enough time for us to have received some more... let's call them interesting letters in our mailboxes.
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Welcome back. Last we gathered here, the Pixel phones were only a rumor and Google's Home invasion had only just appeared at Google I/O.
In the time since, letters have continued to pour into the Android Police inbox. As always, the only purpose we can find in some of that correspondence is to put a smile on your face. Let us know in the comments if they do.
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Much has changed since the last installment of the Android Police Files. The 5X and 6P are the latest Nexus devices. We know a great deal about Android N. Google's founders formed a new company and made Google a subsidiary.
But one thing hasn't changed — we still get some hilarious emails. Here's your latest glimpse at some of the more absurd corners of the Android Police inbox.
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Longtime readers of the Android Police Files will know that a couple things never change. Someone always mistakes us for the police. Someone else thinks we can fix any and all software-related problems. But then there's always a person that asks a question we never expect.
Here is the latest batch of letters. You tell us which are which.
You can't. At least, not yet anyway. Such talk remains a rumor for now. But you're not entirely out of luck. Here's a simple process.
Step 1: Return your Lumia 535.
Step 2: Buy an Android phone.
Step 3: Run the Android apps.
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Now that the hustle and bustle of Mobile World Congress 2015 is behind us, we have time to address some of the comments and emails we've received over the past several months.
If this is your first time coming across the Android Police Files, here's what you should know: some of the people who reach out to us assume that there's a police force out there dedicated entirely to Android (whatever that means) or that we personally had a hand in every piece of code or software that comes out for their devices. Others are just plain paranoid.
Here, see for yourself.
This entry is not a letter, but a five-month-old comment (posted after our last edition of the Android Police Files) left on what is now a ten-month-old post titled "[APK Teardown] Google Play Services 4.4 Explodes With Android Wear Support, Firmware Installer, And Much More."
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Greetings, loyal readers. Several months have passed since our last installment of the Android Police Files, and a few gems have piled up in that time. People have come to us with vague messages about Minecraft, stalkers, in-app purchases, and really weird dreams. Seriously, we're not sure what to make of that last one. Give it a read and let us know what you make of it.
Subject: I want to have an email
Text:
I want to apply an email & one account, one Google
One Google... Google One? Oh no, not another One!
Subject: Minecraft
Text:
I am new at this game.
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Dearest readers, have we got the installment of Android Police Files for you today. Plenty of folks have emailed us over the past month and a half with their questions and concerns. Some sent in their criticisms, and others have even mailed us their personal monologues. We've searched through the metaphorical mail bag and selected eight messages we frankly couldn't just keep to ourselves. Please, read on. You're in for a treat.
Subject: Report
Text:
<[email protected]> just iwould like to report this (they wos selling &rating all the items in the google play so that ineed&ilike it to stop selling&rating becouse when iwos getting is free sothat please &pls STOP them thanks.
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A flood of email fills our inboxes over the course of a month, and as the generally somewhat vaguely nice people that we pride ourselves on being, we do our best to respond to them. But we're not a helpline, nor do we hold much sway over what Google, Samsung, or Sprint say, think, and do. We, frankly, are powerless to address some of the concerns people bring to us. It's sad, I know, but take a look for yourself.
Subject: NEED HELP
Text:
I WANT TO KNOW THAT IS THEIR ANT TRICK TO GET SHARE OPTION INSIDE MUSIC PLAYER OF NOTE 3 AS I DONT SEE ANY SHARE OPTION IN ANY KIT KAT DEVICE SO U HAVE ANY IDEA TO SHARE ALL SONGS AT ONCE TO SHARE VIA WHATS APP I DONT WANT TO ASTRO OR OTHER FILE MANAGER
First, press that caps lock key again and take a step back.
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Nearly two months have passed since our last installment of the Android Police Files, so I'm not going to spend much time on the introduction this time around. You already know what you're in for. Below are eight emails that several people out there mistakenly thought contained either legitimate questions or useful information of some kind. Unfortunately, grammar or common sense (but usually grammar) got in the way. Anyway, you've been more than patient, so without further ado, I present to you our sixth installment.
Subject: (no subject)
Text:
Hai bro i want to ask you a question may i
want to know which 3D games would run on my android phone it has 204 mb ram and 1Ghz processer
Bro, are you aware that requesting my permission to ask a question is, in itself, asking a question?
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[The Android Police Files #15] AVAST INSTALLATION ERROR , AVAST TECHNICAL HELP , AVAST SUPPORT PHONE NUMBER
Welcome back to the Android Police Files, your #1 source for the brilliant stuff that the AP staff receives in our mailboxes. Since we last convened, a lot has happened. The latest version of Android shares a name with a branded product for the first time since 4.4 KitKat. The Galaxy Note8 was released, and it doesn't catch fire. And most recently, a Canadian 17-year old and his "youth leadership coach" tried to pass a Chinese ODM's phone off as their own and crowdsource it on Indiegogo.
There will always be new things going on in the world, but there's one thing that we know will never change: crazy people sending us crazy messages.
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