When I was but a sarcastic teenager full of promise snide commentary (no, I really haven't grown up), I would spend a week or two at my grandmother's house every summer when school was out. One thing that 13-year-old-me found endlessly fascinating yet profoundly annoying was her Big Mouth Billy Bass, which I can only assume was purchased via QVC. Her Big Mouth Billy Bass never went on to be more than a wall fixture, though, unlike one Brian Kane's, who has suffered a fate that is both awesome and slightly terrifying.

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