Facebook is stuck on hardware liked chewed-up gum to the underbelly of a school desk. After going public with what are essentially smart spyglasses co-branded with Ray-Ban, we're once again talking about smart displays as the company adds two new entries to the Portal family.

The Portal Go, as the name implies, is meant to be portable, but I doubt calling it "Portal Portable" would've gone without being made fun of.

"Portable," in this case, means moving an oversized, self-standing tablet with a 10" (1280 x 800) display from room to room so you can be more dynamic with your video calls. Maybe you (or your grandparents, as evidenced in the promo video above) will like whipping that around instead of your phone. The 12MP wide-angle camera is augmented by AI crop-and-pan technology to get every last bit of whimsical dancing your baby cousin does. And as always (and to cover our bases), there's a switch to deactivate the camera and mics and a lens cover for that extra bit of luxurious privacy. It'll cost 9.

The Portal+ from 2018 gets downsized with this second-gen revision, losing the unique tall stand and pivoting display and going with a more mundane tiltable 14" 2160 x 1440 screen instead. It's also got the same 12MP camera and some beefy speakers: two 5W all-purpose drivers and a 20W woofer. 9 will get you what would be a half-decent integrated A/V system for your computer if it weren't for the fact there isn't an HDMI port. The privacy switch and camera cover are also on here.

Facebook has pre-orders open now with shipping beginning October 19. It's offering $100 off the purchase of two Portal devices and free shipping for them to separate addresses. It has also announced support for Microsoft Teams calls starting in December.

The surprisingly crowded market for these displays seems to be (mostly) on behalf of those who aren't very literate with technology that also want to keep connected to their loved ones who are and those who want a no-fuss, self-contained second machine for business meetings. That doesn't mean the Portals gets a free pass from our critical eyes, though, especially considering who they come from.