Back in 2016, an absolute madman hacked a Big Mouth Billy Bass to speak using the Alexa API. It was weird. The soulless monsters at Gemmy Industries evidently took notice, though, and have engineered an official Alexa-powered singing fish to bring to market. What have we wrought?
You can inflict the Speaking Sensation on a loved one or mortal enemy for $39.99 — talk about a bargain. He connects to Echo devices over Bluetooth, and will dance to any music you put on. Billy can even mouth Alexa's answers to your inquiries.
It's not clear from the Amazon listing whether the fish's connectivity can be used to perform similar acts of existential horror using your phone or a Bluetooth-enabled Google Assistant speaker; it only mentions Alexa. Even if it can't, Billy will still sing "Fishin' Time" — I don't know what that is, and I'm not sure I want to — when you press his button.
Pre-orders are open now, with general availability starting December 1.
God help us.