In 2013, the Daily Express ran an informal poll that determined Winston Churchill's famous response to a Parliament member, "Yes I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly," to be the best insult in history. That's certainly debatable, but it demonstrates that the Brits love a good jape, the more cutting the better. That attitude has been given life in Oh... Sir! The Insult Simulator, a turn-based combat game where insults are your weapons and words are your ammunition.
Oh... Sir! is set up as a Frankenstein combination of one-on-one fighting games, poker, and Mad Libs. You and your opponent are both given a pool of subjects, adjectives, conjunctions, and insults, and both of you must come up with the most damaging combination of words possible. It's not quite as simple as it looks at first: because you share the main pool, that devastating remark you were building might fall apart when the other guy selects "a red-arsed baboon" before you do. Players can get a little help by drinking tea to refill a couple of exclusive word slots, or stalling to try and build a combo from the next pool. When you've crafted your insult to perfection, let it fly to whittle away at the opponent's hit points. The first one to zero gets his self esteem shattered into a billion pieces.
The setup is certainly unique, and it will please fans of crosswords, word jumbles, and other literary competitions. Players can choose from a variety of stiff-lipped characters, each of which has full voice acting and an insecurity that can be exploited for extra points. The graphics are a combination of low-poly style and pixelated character designs, but they work in an incongruous kind of way (though you may have to squint to read the text). If there's one thing wrong with the game, it's that the computer doesn't seem able to tell a truly punishing insult from a merely long one. Your sentences don't have to make sense, they just have to be grammatically sound.
Oh... Sir! was originally released for iOS back in December of last year, but the latest version (with the "Insult Simulator" addition) got a simultaneous debut on Android and Steam, and it's considerably more refined. Players can duke it out with the AI or destroy real people via local "hot potato" single-device multiplayer or online battles. The game is just $2 with no in-app purchases.