Are you bored of the endless parade of touchscreen slabs that smartphones have become? Do you want a new idea, a strike of genius, something to foam at the mouth for? Then look no further than the Japanese market. The companies there are just scrubbing every assumption we have and building weird products to appeal to their awesome and quirky market, like this Kyocera DIGNO rafre. Let's pretend that we all know how this name is pronounced and move on to the highlight feature of the phone: it's hot water and soap washable.

For realsies.

So many questions. So, so many questions! But before I get to them, I want to point out that every single aspect of the DIGNO rafre's press release announcement was tacked with an asterisk. It's the first hand-soap-washable phone because no one else has claimed their water-resistant phone to be as such. It's hot water resistant for splashes of water up to 43°C (109F), which Kyocera says is bath water temperature but isn't all that hot. It's temperature resistant, vibration resistant (lolwut), and it self heals its back, but all of these are limited to certain conditions. And best of all? The soap washability has been tried with proprietary tests from Kyocera and can not be verified with all kinds of soaps. Oh, and although the tag line is that you can use this while taking a bath, the fine print doesn't recommend submerging it in hot water.

It's so easy to find such an empty niche category and bathe in the glory of being "the world's first" based on your own criteria and with no real explanation as to what it is that you're doing differently. Maybe all waterproof phones are soap-washable but no company has thought of making that ridiculous claim in the first place. Maybe they aren't. No one knows because no R&D employee thought of washing their test unit before.

And now onto the more pressing issues at hand. Did I mention that this phone is soap washable? It is, and that has caused me to spiral into a wormhole of absurd but pressing questions about it:

  1. If an app freezes on your DIGNO rafre, should you run it under hot water to get things working again?
  2. After you finish watching something dirty on your phone, is it mandatory or just recommended to clean it?
  3. Will your Tower Defense game's bases be neutralized by the washing soap's acidity?
  4. Are Japanese phone accessory makers rushing to develop a special soap for the intimate ports of the DIGNO rafre?
  5. Will Kyocera literally soak test future updates to the device?
  6. Is it better to clean a scratched or infected phone with antiseptic soap solutions?
  7. Is it dishwasher safe?
  8. Does the Cashmere White color variant have to go with your delicates?
  9. Will Cheetah Mobile release an update to its Clean Master app that also cleans the outside of the phone?
  10. If this poor Redditor (NSFW) bought a DIGNO rafre, could all of his troubles be rinsed away?

That's it. I'm done with the silliness, but even if you ask Kyocera, they'd tell you that lather is the best medicine.

PRESS RELEASE