In what I must describe as an almost so-comical-as-to-be-intentional inability to brand itself effectively to consumers, Softcard, fomerly Isis, has come up with a new ad campaign for its NFC tap-to-pay service that should not be viewed by children or those with irrational fears of eyelashes. Meet Tappy. Don't say I didn't warn you.

First, let's get the basics down. Tappy is a tap-to-pay terminal with creepily large eyeballs, humans hands, and shoes. Also, eyelashes/brows/hair-stuff. For days. Seriously, why is there so much orbital hair on this puppet? Oh, and Tappy lights up green when you use him to tap-to-pay, and then emits a not-entirely-unsexual sound. Because he wasn't weird enough.

Here, if you'd prefer not to sleep tonight, just watch this YouTube Doubler of that commercial synced up to some creepy music, and mute the commercial audio. Have fun.

Writing for Android Police, these are both the days I live for, and the ones that I also feel compelled to repress deep within my psyche.

Great marketing spend there, Softcard (AKA Verizon, AT&T, and T-Mobile). This will surely resonate with consumers.

And terrify them.