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[The Android Police Files #11] i love android and want to write columns for u

Longtime readers of the Android Police Files will know that a couple things never change. Someone always mistakes us for the police. Someone else thinks we can fix any and all software-related problems. But then there's always a person that asks a question we never expect.

Here is the latest batch of letters. You tell us which are which.

Letter #1

facepalm

You can't. At least, not yet anyway. Such talk remains a rumor for now. But you're not entirely out of luck. Here's a simple process.

Step 1: Return your Lumia 535.

Step 2: Buy an Android phone.

Step 3: Run the Android apps.

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Subscribe To All The Things With New Pushbullet Integration On Android Police

In case you haven't noticed, there's a new button at the bottom of each post on Android Police these days. The green "subscribe" button appearing across from tags brings new Pushbullet integration to the site, and who doesn't love Pushbullet?

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Hodor Tries His Hand At Making A Calculator And Programming Language, Should Probably Stick To His Day Job

In the highly anticipated 5th season of Game of Thrones, Hodor will be noticeably absent. Now we know why. According to the appendices of George R.R. Martin's masterpiece, Hodor has been busy learning Android development.

Because a keyboard is no longer enough, Hodor has been hard at work on a calculator app (presumably because Lannisters are still counting their debts on abaci). Unfortunately, the gentle giant is about as good at math as he is quoting Shakespeare.

The half-man seems nonplussed.

debt

Perhaps we shouldn't rush to judgment, though. Maybe if we could understand poor Walder, we'd learn a thing or two about math.

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[The Android Police Files #10] Lethal TREASON, Juuuuust Smthn To Ponder On

Now that the hustle and bustle of Mobile World Congress 2015 is behind us, we have time to address some of the comments and emails we've received over the past several months.

If this is your first time coming across the Android Police Files, here's what you should know: some of the people who reach out to us assume that there's a police force out there dedicated entirely to Android (whatever that means) or that we personally had a hand in every piece of code or software that comes out for their devices. Others are just plain paranoid.

Here, see for yourself.

APFiles2

Letter #1

This entry is not a letter, but a five-month-old comment (posted after our last edition of the Android Police Files) left on what is now a ten-month-old post titled "[APK Teardown] Google Play Services 4.4 Explodes With Android Wear Support, Firmware Installer, And Much More." It reads:

I dont really undrstand this stuff but in my personal opinion...as far as permussions go....well I think its all bs cuz they can get into n e thing on n e phone if they really wanted to.

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Left Shark Shows Up To Dance With You In Google I/O Chrome Experiment

As the newly-announced start date for Google I/O 2015 approaches, we're sure to see plenty of easter eggs and hidden messages around Google's web properties, but one easter egg has already made itself known.

Google's I/O 2015 page links to an awesome Chrome experiment that lets users jam to (and edit) a catchy electronic loop with five unique instruments. Inside the experiment's source hides a dance partner - left shark.

Just hit F12 to open the dev console, run experiment.consoleDance() and enjoy an ASCII shark who's doing his best to keep up with the experiment's beat.

shark

In the page's source code, a left shark mp4 also makes an appearance.

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Stay Up To Date With Android Police Pushbullet Channels

As you might have noticed, the AP team is pretty fond of Pushbullet. It's an awesome service that keeps your devices linked up and in sync like nothing else. If you've paid attention over the past few weeks, you may have also noticed that our sidebar has gained a pretty big heap of new buttons.

Right under all the other ways you can follow AP, we've added a stack of Pushbullet subscription options that will allow you to subscribe to our posts either all at once, or per category. You can probably see the buttons right next to this post, but just in case, here's a screenshot.

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The xkcd Phone 2 Arrives With Always-On Speaker, MaxHD Cheek Touching Display, Coin Slot, And More

Following on the success of the original xkcd Phone (which featured a blend of Android and iOS, a side-facing camera, and the ability to scream when falling), a successor has arrived that offers some of the best tech that 2014 has to offer.

The xkcd Phone 2 includes a revolutionary always-on front-facing speaker, which the phone will use to automatically cry when lost. With a built-in, ribbed, auto-rotating case made of 3D materials, the handset should feel comfortable in any hand size. And in a year where phones argued that HD wasn't HD enough, the xkcd Phone 2's MaxHD display competes by cramming over 350 pixels onto its screen (and doubling as a cheek toucher).

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The Untold Story Of The HTC Nexus 9

This is a guest post by Manzi. Manzi is a UX Designer for the University of California, Irvine. He also moonlights doing Social Media for iO West, an improv comedy club in Hollywood. This article was originally posted on The Verge Android forums but has since been edited and enhanced with illustrations created for Android Police.

In a presidential memorial library somewhere out in the Sunnyvale area, cell carriers, hardware manufacturers, and innovators all came to dance in a single hall. The lights were dim. The music was passionate in the John Hughes kind of way.

clip_image002[4]

It was the November of 2007, and together they comprised the Open Handset Alliance.

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[The Android Police Files #9] I'm Very Happy To See Liam! And That Artem Loves To Sleep On The Floor

Greetings, loyal readers. Several months have passed since our last installment of the Android Police Files, and a few gems have piled up in that time. People have come to us with vague messages about Minecraft, stalkers, in-app purchases, and really weird dreams. Seriously, we're not sure what to make of that last one. Give it a read and let us know what you make of it.

APFiles2

Letter #1

Subject: I want to have an email

Text:

I want to apply an email & one account, one Google

One Google... Google One? Oh no, not another One!

Letter #2

Subject: Minecraft

Text: 

I am new at this game.

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