Android Police

The Android Police Files

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[The Android Police Files #11] i love android and want to write columns for u

Longtime readers of the Android Police Files will know that a couple things never change. Someone always mistakes us for the police. Someone else thinks we can fix any and all software-related problems. But then there's always a person that asks a question we never expect.

Here is the latest batch of letters. You tell us which are which.

Letter #1

facepalm

You can't. At least, not yet anyway. Such talk remains a rumor for now. But you're not entirely out of luck. Here's a simple process.

Step 1: Return your Lumia 535.

Step 2: Buy an Android phone.

Step 3: Run the Android apps.

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[The Android Police Files #10] Lethal TREASON, Juuuuust Smthn To Ponder On

Now that the hustle and bustle of Mobile World Congress 2015 is behind us, we have time to address some of the comments and emails we've received over the past several months.

If this is your first time coming across the Android Police Files, here's what you should know: some of the people who reach out to us assume that there's a police force out there dedicated entirely to Android (whatever that means) or that we personally had a hand in every piece of code or software that comes out for their devices. Others are just plain paranoid.

Here, see for yourself.

APFiles2

Letter #1

This entry is not a letter, but a five-month-old comment (posted after our last edition of the Android Police Files) left on what is now a ten-month-old post titled "[APK Teardown] Google Play Services 4.4 Explodes With Android Wear Support, Firmware Installer, And Much More." It reads:

I dont really undrstand this stuff but in my personal opinion...as far as permussions go....well I think its all bs cuz they can get into n e thing on n e phone if they really wanted to.

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[The Android Police Files #9] I'm Very Happy To See Liam! And That Artem Loves To Sleep On The Floor

Greetings, loyal readers. Several months have passed since our last installment of the Android Police Files, and a few gems have piled up in that time. People have come to us with vague messages about Minecraft, stalkers, in-app purchases, and really weird dreams. Seriously, we're not sure what to make of that last one. Give it a read and let us know what you make of it.

APFiles2

Letter #1

Subject: I want to have an email

Text:

I want to apply an email & one account, one Google

One Google... Google One? Oh no, not another One!

Letter #2

Subject: Minecraft

Text: 

I am new at this game.

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[The Android Police Files #8] Hey Megaheads, Please Help Uninstall This Android Device From My Phone

Dearest readers, have we got the installment of Android Police Files for you today. Plenty of folks have emailed us over the past month and a half with their questions and concerns. Some sent in their criticisms, and others have even mailed us their personal monologues. We've searched through the metaphorical mail bag and selected eight messages we frankly couldn't just keep to ourselves. Please, read on. You're in for a treat.

APFiles2

Letter #1

Subject: Report

Text: 

<[email protected]> just iwould like to report this (they wos selling &rating all the items in the google play so that ineed&ilike it to stop selling&rating becouse when iwos getting is free sothat please &pls STOP them thanks.

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[The Android Police Files #7] But I Must Request Assistance, I Am Requesting Assistance

A flood of email fills our inboxes over the course of a month, and as the generally somewhat vaguely nice people that we pride ourselves on being, we do our best to respond to them. But we're not a helpline, nor do we hold much sway over what Google, Samsung, or Sprint say, think, and do. We, frankly, are powerless to address some of the concerns people bring to us. It's sad, I know, but take a look for yourself.

APFiles2

Letter #1

Subject: NEED HELP

Text:

I WANT TO KNOW THAT IS THEIR ANT TRICK TO GET SHARE OPTION INSIDE MUSIC PLAYER OF NOTE 3 AS I DONT SEE ANY SHARE OPTION IN ANY KIT KAT DEVICE SO U HAVE ANY IDEA TO SHARE ALL SONGS AT ONCE TO SHARE VIA WHATS APP I DONT WANT TO ASTRO OR OTHER FILE MANAGER

First, press that caps lock key again and take a step back.

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[The Android Police Files #6] Plz Bro I Need Kitkat 4.4 Stock Android Apk File For My Galaxy S4

Nearly two months have passed since our last installment of the Android Police Files, so I'm not going to spend much time on the introduction this time around. You already know what you're in for. Below are eight emails that several people out there mistakenly thought contained either legitimate questions or useful information of some kind. Unfortunately, grammar or common sense (but usually grammar) got in the way. Anyway, you've been more than patient, so without further ado, I present to you our sixth installment.

APFiles2

Letter #1

Subject: (no subject)

Text:

Hai bro i want to ask you a question may i

want to know which 3D games would run on my android phone it has 204 mb ram and 1Ghz processer

Bro, are you aware that requesting my permission to ask a question is, in itself, asking a question?

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[The Android Police Files #5] I Really Need A Phone Bad I Pray I Can Get One From You, SOON BACKANSWER!

With all of those Christmas gifts and family gatherings come loads of trash that need to be tossed out the day after. The same can be said for email. We've received quite a few messages since our last installment of the Android Police Files, and while many of them were helpful tips and other notices, some were not so useful. We trashed as much of it as we could, but some items we felt were better off dragged out onto the sidewalk for the public to see.

So take a gander, and hopefully you will get more joy from these nuggets than we did.

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[The Android Police Files #4] No, This Isn't The Artem You Are Looking For, And Please Stop Asking Us About Eric

It's been hectic around here lately, but now that the Nexus 5 has finally launched, we can give the rumors a rest and turn our attention to other matters. For starters, we have another batch of your emails, so finish that soda, pull over to the side of the road, and turn off the stove, because you're in for a treat. Don't say we didn't warn you.

APFiles

Letter #1

Subject: Refurbished Samsung Galaxy TAB II P5100

Text:

Interested in the above model.
If any, how many do you have?
I'm interested in a bulk order of 100 units.

While we wish we could afford to stock up on large quantities of every Android device ever released, we can't.

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[The Android Police Files #3] Baffling Lawyers, Video Earrings, Dangerous Open Source Software, And So Much More

Gather 'round, folks. This is the third installment of Android Police Files and the first to contain letters submitted after we started the series. As you would expect, many emails we receive come in the form of questions, and some submitters keep their requests short and sweet. Unfortunately, we couldn't satisfy some of them even if we wanted to.

But we do our best. We really do. If we weren't here to serve, we would throw our wisdom up behind a pay wall. So without further ado, here are your questions.

APFiles

Letter #1

Subject: Jeremiah Rice

Text:

Hello, Could you please ask Jeremiah Rice to email me or phone me???

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[The Android Police Files #2] Maybe People Would Be Less Confused If We Changed Our Name

Here it is, the second installment of Android Police Files. We're still getting a steady stream of email, and while we can't post them all, we've hand-picked eight more to share with our darling readers. As you're about to see, many people can't seem to grasp what it is we do. We're not crime fighters, nor are we IT ninjas. We blog. Still, that doesn't mean we don't try our best to help out. We think our advice is useful, but we'll let you be the judge.

APFiles

Letter #1

Subject: Privacy policy

Text:

I want to report about my phone..i wanna show some apps appear in my phone and send all my info and control all my phone..if you guys can't do or check, i will call 911 or send my phone to police station..thanks a lots

We can't do or check, so feel free to go to the police.

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