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[Bonus Round] Chariot Wars, Star Arena, And Luxuria Superbia

Welcome to the latest entry in our Bonus Round series, wherein we tell you all about the new Android games of the day that we couldn't get to during our regular news rounds. Consider this a quick update for the dedicated gamers who can't wait for our bi-weekly roundups, and don't want to wade through a whole day's worth of news just to get their pixelated fix. Today we've got an interestingly ancient racing game, a tug-of-war tower defense title, and a game that I wouldn't play in front of my grandma.

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[Android] Watch Maker Android Will Release A Smartwatch Compatible With Android... Wait, What?

Did you know that some companies and products have the same name as other companies and products? Crazy, right? To use a geek-friendly example, there's a brand of laundry detergent called "Linux." Now, Try to follow along with me here: there's a brand of conventional automatic and quartz wristwatches called Android. The American company has been around since 1991. They've never really blown up as a brand, but they've been making reliable watches for two decades.

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[New Game] Tekken Arena Might Be The Worst Misuse Of A License Since Hannibal Lecter's Cooking Bonanza

The Tekken series is one of Namco's biggest properties, a beloved handful of games that helped pioneer the 3D one-on-one fighting genre. Tekken Arena is an embarrassing mobile cash-in, with no 3D element to speak of and barely any portion that could be called "fighting." It might just be the most absurd deviation from the central element of a gaming property that I've ever seen.

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Namco calls Tekken Arena a "Massively Multiplayer Online Strategy Fighting Game." What does that mean?

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Google Makes An Android Game Vending Machine For Japan, For Some Reason

Japan loves vending machines. You know those machines with iPods and Bose headphones at the airport? Japan had them first, among, many, many others, including machines for liquor, live bait, produce, Pokemon, and various other slightly insane things. Now it looks like Google is joining the fray with a promotional machine that dispenses Android games right to your phone. What?

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Engadget was on-hand at a Google event where the company showed off one of three vending machines that will soon go into service.

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[New Game] Disney Releases Scrooge's Loot, A 3D Class-Based Shooter... Based On DuckTales

When you think of Disney's late-80s cartoon DuckTales, you think of thrilling, white-knuckle class shooters in the vein of Team Fortress 2. Wait, no, that's not right: you think of the theme song that's been running through your head on and off for the last 25 years. Then you think about semi-wholesome kid's entertainment about ducks swimming in huge piles of gold. In fact, a class-based, over-the-shoulder shooter game is probably the last thing you'd think of in relation to DuckTales.

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The Bem Wireless Speakerwatch Takes The Smartwatch Craze One Step Too Far

Smartwatches are a young category. Superfluous at best and just plain dorky at worst, I've yet to see one that makes me say "wow, I've gotta have that." And if smartwatches have yet to receive their killer application, that's doubly true for the inevitable wave of cheap accessories that will try to cash in on the craze. Case in point: The Bem Wireless Speakerwatch.

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This thing is a Bluetooth speakerphone strapped to a wristband.

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[FAIL] San Francisco Muni Doesn't Know An iPhone From A Galaxy Note II (Or How To Hold One)

There's a new app available from the San Francisco Metro Transit Authority: an official Muni bus guide called Muni+. It's available right now for Android and iOS. And this dual release seems to have given the promotional department a bit of a problem. See if you can tell what it is by looking at this freeze frame of the new TV commercial now airing in the Bay area.

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Photo via Artem Russakovskii

If you said "that Galaxy Note II is upside down for some reason," you're absolutely right.

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Android Bluetooth Exploit For Japanese Toilet Brings New Meaning To The Word "Vulnerability"

Imagine, if you will, that you've just checked in to a hotel in Tokyo for an extended vacation. Weary from the long train and cab rides from the airport, you make use of the bathroom, noting the famously futuristic facilities adorning the electronic toilet. As you take care of business, you hear a laughing, sniggering sound from the other side of the wall - clearly someone in the next room is having a good time.

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[New Game] SEGA's Hell Yeah! Pocket Inferno Is The Best Runner Game Starring An Undead Gun-Toting Rabbit On A Rocket Drill You'll Play Today

SEGA has a rich history of platfoming titles to draw upon as it makes the transition to mobile gaming. Alex Kidd. Sonic the Hedgehog. Nights. But one you might not have heard of is Hell Yeah!, a downloadable title from developer Arkedo Studio. After making waves on the PC and consoles last year, this tongue-in-cheek gorefest has been adapted into what might just be the strangest endless runner on Android.

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You play as Ash, spawn of the Dark One, prince of Hell, and somehow, also a rabbit skeleton.

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[NSFW] Taint Wrangler Is A Gross, Perverse, Horrible Game That Will Probably Be Pulled Before You Finish Reading This Article

You're a dick. I mean, in this game. Well, you could be a dick in real life, for all I know, but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about phalluses. Why are we talking about phalluses? Because sometimes when we're trying to track down great games and apps for you guys to try, we accidentally stumble upon male genitalia. The Play Store is much like Chatroulette in that regard.

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