When you think of Disney's late-80s cartoon DuckTales, you think of thrilling, white-knuckle class shooters in the vein of Team Fortress 2. Wait, no, that's not right: you think of the theme song that's been running through your head on and off for the last 25 years. Then you think about semi-wholesome kid's entertainment about ducks swimming in huge piles of gold. In fact, a class-based, over-the-shoulder shooter game is probably the last thing you'd think of in relation to DuckTales.
Smartwatches are a young category. Superfluous at best and just plain dorky at worst, I've yet to see one that makes me say "wow, I've gotta have that." And if smartwatches have yet to receive their killer application, that's doubly true for the inevitable wave of cheap accessories that will try to cash in on the craze. Case in point: The Bem Wireless Speakerwatch.
This thing is a Bluetooth speakerphone strapped to a wristband.
There's a new app available from the San Francisco Metro Transit Authority: an official Muni bus guide called Muni+. It's available right now for Android and iOS. And this dual release seems to have given the promotional department a bit of a problem. See if you can tell what it is by looking at this freeze frame of the new TV commercial now airing in the Bay area.
Photo via Artem Russakovskii
If you said "that Galaxy Note II is upside down for some reason," you're absolutely right.
Imagine, if you will, that you've just checked in to a hotel in Tokyo for an extended vacation. Weary from the long train and cab rides from the airport, you make use of the bathroom, noting the famously futuristic facilities adorning the electronic toilet. As you take care of business, you hear a laughing, sniggering sound from the other side of the wall - clearly someone in the next room is having a good time.
SEGA has a rich history of platfoming titles to draw upon as it makes the transition to mobile gaming. Alex Kidd. Sonic the Hedgehog. Nights. But one you might not have heard of is Hell Yeah!, a downloadable title from developer Arkedo Studio. After making waves on the PC and consoles last year, this tongue-in-cheek gorefest has been adapted into what might just be the strangest endless runner on Android.
You play as Ash, spawn of the Dark One, prince of Hell, and somehow, also a rabbit skeleton.
You're a dick. I mean, in this game. Well, you could be a dick in real life, for all I know, but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about phalluses. Why are we talking about phalluses? Because sometimes when we're trying to track down great games and apps for you guys to try, we accidentally stumble upon male genitalia. The Play Store is much like Chatroulette in that regard.
I'll be honest: I have no idea what's going on in this game. Towelfight 2: The Monocle of Destiny appears to be a pretty basic twin-stick shooter, right up until you notice that your wizened player character is shooting homicidal, spherical animals out of his eye. These critters have powers of their own, including lasers, chainsaws, and explosions. And when you kill enemies, they burst into Batman-style sound effects, which for some reason include "dirigible" and "maple syrup." Also, there's a dog, and you can play fetch with him.
The hits just keep on coming. Today's delightfully twisted game is Battle Bears Royale and, just like it says on the box, this game features bears. That battle each other. With sniper rifles, machine guns, and cactuses. If you've ever played Team Fortress 2, you'll feel right at home (though it's hard to seriously say the quality is as high as the Valve game, but what is?) with the class system.
Artem gives me all the weird stuff. I love it, really. In the last week or so alone, I've covered Shaq fighting mutant zombies, Santa Claus as a rock star, sentient pudding, and a walk in the park. I thought I couldn't be happier. Then he brings me 'Sacred Guns'. This game stars Archangel Mark Leung (which appears to be the same name of one of the primary devs on this project), wielding his dual golden pistols and rainbow sword against an army of "God's unwanted creation." Apparently, when the Lord Almighty wanted to flood the Earth to cleanse it of sin, "sin" was code for "evil Teletubbies." Which makes perfect sense.
Remember yesterday when I said some games go beyond description? This is more what I was talking about. McPixel is a game in which things explode...or sometimes a volcano erupts? And you're a person (I think) that has to defuse bombs. Or put them places. Or make statues sneeze. It's really very confusing, in the best way. The objective is to stop things from exploding by doing things. Which may include stealing an old person's dentures, setting monks on fire, and kicking flashers.