Gather 'round, folks. This is the third installment of Android Police Files and the first to contain letters submitted after we started the series. As you would expect, many emails we receive come in the form of questions, and some submitters keep their requests short and sweet. Unfortunately, we couldn't satisfy some of them even if we wanted to.
But we do our best. We really do. If we weren't here to serve, we would throw our wisdom up behind a pay wall.
If you missed out on the ruckus Google caused this morning, here's a quick briefing: the upcoming version will not be 5.0, nor will it be called Key Lime Pie. Instead, it's 4.4 KitKat. No joke – this is legit. Sundar Pichai even put a picture of the new statue up on Twitter and G+. This is happening.
The question is, though, what new features can we expect? KitKat itself has taken to YouTube with just that information.
Here it is, the second installment of Android Police Files. We're still getting a steady stream of email, and while we can't post them all, we've hand-picked eight more to share with our darling readers. As you're about to see, many people can't seem to grasp what it is we do. We're not crime fighters, nor are we IT ninjas. We blog. Still, that doesn't mean we don't try our best to help out.
We get a lot of mail over the course of each day, but some inquiries and tips are simply better than others. Below is a batch of what we consider the cream of the crop. If there's anything to take away from these letters, it's that people assume we have more power than we do. We can't remote login to your Android devices, even if you ask nicely, and if we knew the reasons behind every delayed online purchase, we'd be much happier people.
Google Glass hasn't even fully arrived on the consumer market, but wearable computing competition is already heating up as Samsung announced its Glass competitor: the Samsung Apex. The head-mounted display will serve up both television and internet access while simultaneously sucking your dick.
Have you heard? The popped collar is coming back. But that's sooo last year now that we have Google Glass. Presenting: 5 popped Google Glasses (combined current value of $7,500 or more like $8k if you count taxes), because having 4 popped Glasses on isn't nearly as cool.
A doctor did this. Before I get any deeper into this story, I want to point out that a person with the prefix "Dr." in front of his name—Dr. Christopher Culligan, a Canadian ER physician and instructor at the University of Toronto Faculty of Medicine, to be precise—is responsible for this mobile app that promises to infer a man's size based on a variety of factors. This criteria includes but is not limited to height, shoe size, butt size and whether the man is gay or straight.
Man, Google. You just can't stop screwing with Christmas, can you? First you cancel December, and now this? In a very real and totally serious bug report over on Google Code, one user is reporting a serious flaw in Android: If you use the Emoji keyboard to enter a Santa face, he looks decidedly unhappy. Emotionless at best. But, as everyone knows, "Santa should be jolly."
Okay, yes, so Google did fix that Calendar problem, and even went out of its way to build a special Santa Tracker, after Norad hired that other search engine.
Look, folks, today is the perfect day to watch a light-hearted video of a real-life fruit ninja chopping fruit, getting smacked in the face with bananas, avoiding bombs like the plague, all topped with adorable kittens flying by in slo-mo. In fact, any day is the perfect day to watch that, especially when it's accompanied by a Dubstep sound track. Still not convinced? Fine, I'll give you two more reasons. It's a Sunday before the laziest and least productive week of the year, and it's Christmas Eve Eve.