Look, folks, today is the perfect day to watch a light-hearted video of a real-life fruit ninja chopping fruit, getting smacked in the face with bananas, avoiding bombs like the plague, all topped with adorable kittens flying by in slo-mo. In fact, any day is the perfect day to watch that, especially when it's accompanied by a Dubstep sound track. Still not convinced? Fine, I'll give you two more reasons. It's a Sunday before the laziest and least productive week of the year, and it's Christmas Eve Eve.
The Bard's Tale is huge in just about every way. It's a 3.5GB download (at most), it's a long, elaborate game and, until now, it was $6, which is not quite expensive, but certainly pricier than the average game. Today's sale, however, brings the cost down to an outright bargain. For $3 you can get the full Cary Elwes experience on your phone or tablet. It's almost unreasonable not to go for it.
I know what you're thinking.
Did he fire six shots or only five? LG? Making an interesting video? Pshaw, I say! Before you dismiss it, though, let me ask you something. Have you ever seen a phone built out of magic and diamonds?! No? Then I've got something new to show you. In this four-minute promo video for the LG Optimus G, we see a man who is, apparently, a sparkle bender, forge a block of pure obsidian, then literally carve the phone out of this block with telekinesis.
The rumor mill churns and, having churned, moves on. The big story today is that according to sources familiar with the matter, reports have leaked that lead us to believe that an employee who asked to not be named has told Digitimes that sources say the next Nexus may have already been patented by Apple as the subject of the latest lawsuit to come out of Cupertino.
According to the sources, LG, HTC, and Samsung are all working on their own Key Lime Pie-based variants of the Nexus Google Experience Galaxy 10 7 4G LTE series.
If seeing a company's executive chairman performing a vaguely-sexual, somewhat-equestrian dance for a room full of South Korean employees doesn't make stock prices soar, I honestly can't fathom what would. Eric Schmidt, seen below getting his white-boy groove on Gangnam style, was in Korea to discuss Google's new product Google Pelvic Thrusts. Unbeknownst to the former-CEO, while inside Korean borders, if a person discusses any form of lower abdominal movements, the entire room is legally required to break out in the trendy song and dance.
No, it's not the Bard of Avon, but this smarmy rogue should still be able to keep you plenty entertained. The Bard's Tale is a Diablo-ish RPG starring Cary Elwes (best known for ruining your perception of the Dread Pirate Roberts and Mel Brooks' Robin Hood by doing this). Complete with absurd humor, catchy drinking songs, and adventure galore, this game promises to keep you engaged for up to 3.5GB worth of your time (for Tegra device owners, 1.7GB otherwise).
Last year, Samsung revolutionized parodies of revolutions. Now, they've revolutionized the revolutionizing of making fun of revolutionizing revolutions. The Korean manufacturer has released the newest iteration of its "Next Big Thing" series of ads. This model has 50% more runtime than last year's model. New features include "the iPhone is for your parents," "we've had 4G for a while," and the totally not subtext-laden "my screen is bigger than your screen."
The new 90-second spot will be available tonight on national TV.
Today, Samsung posted an official demo video of some of Galaxy S III's more advanced features, such as Smart Stay, S Voice, Smart Alert, Direct Call, and social tagging. Ironically, while showcasing just how intelligent the phone is, we are treated to the following hilarious answer by S Voice:
Hey, it's 18 degrees Fahrenheit in Los Angeles! That's -8 Celsius. In May. Look what you've done, Sammy - now we're going to need to edit Wikipedia to amend the previous record of 24F from 1944.
Splashtop makes some great remote desktop software. I like Splashtop. So please friends, readers, and developers over at Splashtop, keep in mind my love for the company as a whole when I say the following sentence: Charging users $25 to try out Windows 8 on an Android tablet is an absurd, opportunistic, rip off of an idea. Most disappointingly, it will work for a small minority of users. And their money spends just the same as any other.
Your smartphone can be a lot of things. One thing it should not ever be is a hammer. The guy in the video below disagrees with my opinion that the HTC One X is not, in fact, a hammer. As you can see, he has a serious nail problem and, as the saying goes, "When all you have is a nail, all your HTC One Xes look like hammers." Or something like that.