Android Police

Articles Tagged:

humor

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[The Android Police Files #1] No, We Don't Work For Android, And We're Not Really The Police

We get a lot of mail over the course of each day, but some inquiries and tips are simply better than others. Below is a batch of what we consider the cream of the crop. If there's anything to take away from these letters, it's that people assume we have more power than we do. We can't remote login to your Android devices, even if you ask nicely, and if we knew the reasons behind every delayed online purchase, we'd be much happier people.

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[NSFW] Samsung Announces Its Glass Competitor 'Apex' That Does Everything, Including Oral Sex

Google Glass hasn't even fully arrived on the consumer market, but wearable computing competition is already heating up as Samsung announced its Glass competitor: the Samsung Apex. The head-mounted display will serve up both television and internet access while simultaneously sucking your dick.

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What's Cooler Than 5 Popped Collars? 5 Popped Google Glasses, Of Course

Have you heard? The popped collar is coming back. But that's sooo last year now that we have Google Glass. Presenting: 5 popped Google Glasses (combined current value of $7,500 or more like $8k if you count taxes), because having 4 popped Glasses on isn't nearly as cool.

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Right part of the image credit: +Adib Towfiq

Left part of the image credit: Someone on the Interwebs, who the hell knows.

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Looks About Right: St. Patrick's Day Through Google Glass [Video]

You don't really need my commentary for this one. Just kick back for 2 minutes, watch, and see if this humorous take on Google Glass by stuntbear cracks a smile on your face. These will never get old.

Warning: As you've already probably guessed, some interesting language some might call French indeed found its way into the video. Consider using your headphones if watching at work.

Source: Youtube

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'The Predicktor' Will Allegedly Predict Penis Size Based On Your Butt Size (And Other Very Personal Info)

A doctor did this. Before I get any deeper into this story, I want to point out that a person with the prefix "Dr." in front of his name—Dr. Christopher Culligan, a Canadian ER physician and instructor at the University of Toronto Faculty of Medicine, to be precise—is responsible for this mobile app that promises to infer a man's size based on a variety of factors. This criteria includes but is not limited to height, shoe size, butt size and whether the man is gay or straight.

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Google's Ruining Christmas Again: User Files Bug Report Over Sad Santa Emoji, Loses Holiday Cheer

Man, Google. You just can't stop screwing with Christmas, can you? First you cancel December, and now this? In a very real and totally serious bug report over on Google Code, one user is reporting a serious flaw in Android: If you use the Emoji keyboard to enter a Santa face, he looks decidedly unhappy. Emotionless at best. But, as everyone knows, "Santa should be jolly."

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Okay, yes, so Google did fix that Calendar problem, and even went out of its way to build a special Santa Tracker, after Norad hired that other search engine.

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Fruit Ninja Escapes To Real Life In This Dubstep-Enhanced Video (Because Dubstep Makes Everything Better)

Look, folks, today is the perfect day to watch a light-hearted video of a real-life fruit ninja chopping fruit, getting smacked in the face with bananas, avoiding bombs like the plague, all topped with adorable kittens flying by in slo-mo. In fact, any day is the perfect day to watch that, especially when it's accompanied by a Dubstep sound track. Still not convinced? Fine, I'll give you two more reasons. It's a Sunday before the laziest and least productive week of the year, and it's Christmas Eve Eve.

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It's Happy Hour Down At The Pub: The Bard's Tale Is Half Off In The Play Store ($2.99)

The Bard's Tale is huge in just about every way. It's a 3.5GB download (at most), it's a long, elaborate game and, until now, it was $6, which is not quite expensive, but certainly pricier than the average game. Today's sale, however, brings the cost down to an outright bargain. For $3 you can get the full Cary Elwes experience on your phone or tablet. It's almost unreasonable not to go for it.

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You're Wasting Four Minutes Of Your Life If You're Not Watching This Guy Create An Optimus G Out Of Diamonds With His Mind

I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? LG? Making an interesting video? Pshaw, I say! Before you dismiss it, though, let me ask you something. Have you ever seen a phone built out of magic and diamonds?! No? Then I've got something new to show you. In this four-minute promo video for the LG Optimus G, we see a man who is, apparently, a sparkle bender, forge a block of pure obsidian, then literally carve the phone out of this block with telekinesis.

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Is This A Nexus LG HTC Samsung Apple Patent Key Lime Pie 5.0 10 7 4G LTE Google Lawsuit Galaxy? Click To Find Out

The rumor mill churns and, having churned, moves on. The big story today is that according to sources familiar with the matter, reports have leaked that lead us to believe that an employee who asked to not be named has told Digitimes that sources say the next Nexus may have already been patented by Apple as the subject of the latest lawsuit to come out of Cupertino.

According to the sources, LG, HTC, and Samsung are all working on their own Key Lime Pie-based variants of the Nexus Google Experience Galaxy 10 7 4G LTE series.

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