Android Police

Articles Tagged:

humor

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[The Android Police Files #6] Plz Bro I Need Kitkat 4.4 Stock Android Apk File For My Galaxy S4

Nearly two months have passed since our last installment of the Android Police Files, so I'm not going to spend much time on the introduction this time around. You already know what you're in for. Below are eight emails that several people out there mistakenly thought contained either legitimate questions or useful information of some kind. Unfortunately, grammar or common sense (but usually grammar) got in the way. Anyway, you've been more than patient, so without further ado, I present to you our sixth installment.

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[New Game] Adult Swim's Amateur Surgeon 3 Is A Perfect Example Of 'Don't Try This At Home'

At least once or twice a year you hear about some desperate and/or stupid person who decided to be their own doctor, suturing their wounds with staples or fishing wire in lieu of an emergency room visit. If that sounds like fun, then Amateur Surgeon 3 from the quirky folks at Adult Swim is right up your artery. This is an Android release of a Flash and iOS game, not to mention a gruesome and sarcastic take on the old 'Operation' idea.

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[The Android Police Files #5] I Really Need A Phone Bad I Pray I Can Get One From You, SOON BACKANSWER!

With all of those Christmas gifts and family gatherings come loads of trash that need to be tossed out the day after. The same can be said for email. We've received quite a few messages since our last installment of the Android Police Files, and while many of them were helpful tips and other notices, some were not so useful. We trashed as much of it as we could, but some items we felt were better off dragged out onto the sidewalk for the public to see.

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[The Android Police Files #4] No, This Isn't The Artem You Are Looking For, And Please Stop Asking Us About Eric

It's been hectic around here lately, but now that the Nexus 5 has finally launched, we can give the rumors a rest and turn our attention to other matters. For starters, we have another batch of your emails, so finish that soda, pull over to the side of the road, and turn off the stove, because you're in for a treat. Don't say we didn't warn you.

APFiles

Letter #1

Subject: Refurbished Samsung Galaxy TAB II P5100

Text:

Interested in the above model.

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[Bonus Round] Level 22, Battle Bears Zero, And Racing Glider

Welcome to the latest entry in our Bonus Round series, wherein we tell you all about the new Android games of the day that we couldn't get to during our regular news rounds. Consider this a quick update for the dedicated gamers who can't wait for our bi-weekly roundups, and don't want to wade through a whole day's worth of news just to get their pixelated fix. Today we've got an office-themed stealth game, an adorably vicious co-op shooter, and an admirable Pilotwings knockoff.

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[New Game] Sir! I'd Like To Report A Bug! Is A Challenging 2D Platformer Free Of Ads And IAPs That Is Bound To Make You Curse

Sir! I'd Like To Report A Bug! takes its inspiration from games of a bygone era. No, this isn't merely a modern game masked with pixelated faux 16-bit visuals. This is a title that seeks to replicate the agony of the early 90s, a time when bugs weren't a reason to return a game. Instead they added another layer of challenge, another set of rules to be studied, learned, and mastered.

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[The Android Police Files #3] Baffling Lawyers, Video Earrings, Dangerous Open Source Software, And So Much More

Gather 'round, folks. This is the third installment of Android Police Files and the first to contain letters submitted after we started the series. As you would expect, many emails we receive come in the form of questions, and some submitters keep their requests short and sweet. Unfortunately, we couldn't satisfy some of them even if we wanted to.

But we do our best. We really do. If we weren't here to serve, we would throw our wisdom up behind a pay wall.

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KitKat Shows Off New Features Of 'KitKat 4.4', The Future Of Confectionery

If you missed out on the ruckus Google caused this morning, here's a quick briefing: the upcoming version will not be 5.0, nor will it be called Key Lime Pie. Instead, it's 4.4 KitKat. No joke – this is legit. Sundar Pichai even put a picture of the new statue up on Twitter and G+. This is happening.

The question is, though, what new features can we expect? KitKat itself has taken to YouTube with just that information.

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[The Android Police Files #2] Maybe People Would Be Less Confused If We Changed Our Name

Here it is, the second installment of Android Police Files. We're still getting a steady stream of email, and while we can't post them all, we've hand-picked eight more to share with our darling readers. As you're about to see, many people can't seem to grasp what it is we do. We're not crime fighters, nor are we IT ninjas. We blog. Still, that doesn't mean we don't try our best to help out.

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[The Android Police Files #1] No, We Don't Work For Android, And We're Not Really The Police

We get a lot of mail over the course of each day, but some inquiries and tips are simply better than others. Below is a batch of what we consider the cream of the crop. If there's anything to take away from these letters, it's that people assume we have more power than we do. We can't remote login to your Android devices, even if you ask nicely, and if we knew the reasons behind every delayed online purchase, we'd be much happier people.

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