A flood of email fills our inboxes over the course of a month, and as the generally somewhat vaguely nice people that we pride ourselves on being, we do our best to respond to them. But we're not a helpline, nor do we hold much sway over what Google, Samsung, or Sprint say, think, and do. We, frankly, are powerless to address some of the concerns people bring to us. It's sad, I know, but take a look for yourself.
Did you know that the Google I/O 2014 site that went live earlier today doesn't just contain useful information about the event but also a healthy dose of geek humor, hidden away in debug messages? We have everything from clever word play to mentions of Globophobia to Doge to Star Trek references.
Bonus points to those of you who can recognize them all without Googling!
Have you noticed that your devices get slow sometimes? Is your memory usage out of control? One user was having these problems, decided to take matters into his own hands, file a bug report, and get this problem FIXED! User "Amit", clearly frustrated by the fact that his phone runs slower than cold molasses, took to Google's AOSP issue tracker for some help downloading more G-Bs.
Nearly two months have passed since our last installment of the Android Police Files, so I'm not going to spend much time on the introduction this time around. You already know what you're in for. Below are eight emails that several people out there mistakenly thought contained either legitimate questions or useful information of some kind. Unfortunately, grammar or common sense (but usually grammar) got in the way. Anyway, you've been more than patient, so without further ado, I present to you our sixth installment.
At least once or twice a year you hear about some desperate and/or stupid person who decided to be their own doctor, suturing their wounds with staples or fishing wire in lieu of an emergency room visit. If that sounds like fun, then Amateur Surgeon 3 from the quirky folks at Adult Swim is right up your artery. This is an Android release of a Flash and iOS game, not to mention a gruesome and sarcastic take on the old 'Operation' idea.
With all of those Christmas gifts and family gatherings come loads of trash that need to be tossed out the day after. The same can be said for email. We've received quite a few messages since our last installment of the Android Police Files, and while many of them were helpful tips and other notices, some were not so useful. We trashed as much of it as we could, but some items we felt were better off dragged out onto the sidewalk for the public to see.
It's been hectic around here lately, but now that the Nexus 5 has finally launched, we can give the rumors a rest and turn our attention to other matters. For starters, we have another batch of your emails, so finish that soda, pull over to the side of the road, and turn off the stove, because you're in for a treat. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Subject: Refurbished Samsung Galaxy TAB II P5100
Interested in the above model.
Welcome to the latest entry in our Bonus Round series, wherein we tell you all about the new Android games of the day that we couldn't get to during our regular news rounds. Consider this a quick update for the dedicated gamers who can't wait for our bi-weekly roundups, and don't want to wade through a whole day's worth of news just to get their pixelated fix. Today we've got an office-themed stealth game, an adorably vicious co-op shooter, and an admirable Pilotwings knockoff.
Sir! I'd Like To Report A Bug! takes its inspiration from games of a bygone era. No, this isn't merely a modern game masked with pixelated faux 16-bit visuals. This is a title that seeks to replicate the agony of the early 90s, a time when bugs weren't a reason to return a game. Instead they added another layer of challenge, another set of rules to be studied, learned, and mastered.
Gather 'round, folks. This is the third installment of Android Police Files and the first to contain letters submitted after we started the series. As you would expect, many emails we receive come in the form of questions, and some submitters keep their requests short and sweet. Unfortunately, we couldn't satisfy some of them even if we wanted to.
But we do our best. We really do. If we weren't here to serve, we would throw our wisdom up behind a pay wall.