Articles Tagged:

funny

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The xkcd Phone 2 Arrives With Always-On Speaker, MaxHD Cheek Touching Display, Coin Slot, And More

Following on the success of the original xkcd Phone (which featured a blend of Android and iOS, a side-facing camera, and the ability to scream when falling), a successor has arrived that offers some of the best tech that 2014 has to offer.

The xkcd Phone 2 includes a revolutionary always-on front-facing speaker, which the phone will use to automatically cry when lost. With a built-in, ribbed, auto-rotating case made of 3D materials, the handset should feel comfortable in any hand size. And in a year where phones argued that HD wasn't HD enough, the xkcd Phone 2's MaxHD display competes by cramming over 350 pixels onto its screen (and doubling as a cheek toucher).

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The Untold Story Of The HTC Nexus 9

This is a guest post by Manzi. Manzi is a UX Designer for the University of California, Irvine. He also moonlights doing Social Media for iO West, an improv comedy club in Hollywood. This article was originally posted on The Verge Android forums but has since been edited and enhanced with illustrations created for Android Police.

In a presidential memorial library somewhere out in the Sunnyvale area, cell carriers, hardware manufacturers, and innovators all came to dance in a single hall. The lights were dim. The music was passionate in the John Hughes kind of way.

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It was the November of 2007, and together they comprised the Open Handset Alliance.

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[The Android Police Files #9] I'm Very Happy To See Liam! And That Artem Loves To Sleep On The Floor

Greetings, loyal readers. Several months have passed since our last installment of the Android Police Files, and a few gems have piled up in that time. People have come to us with vague messages about Minecraft, stalkers, in-app purchases, and really weird dreams. Seriously, we're not sure what to make of that last one. Give it a read and let us know what you make of it.

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Letter #1

Subject: I want to have an email

Text:

I want to apply an email & one account, one Google

One Google... Google One? Oh no, not another One!

Letter #2

Subject: Minecraft

Text: 

I am new at this game.

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[The Android Police Files #8] Hey Megaheads, Please Help Uninstall This Android Device From My Phone

Dearest readers, have we got the installment of Android Police Files for you today. Plenty of folks have emailed us over the past month and a half with their questions and concerns. Some sent in their criticisms, and others have even mailed us their personal monologues. We've searched through the metaphorical mail bag and selected eight messages we frankly couldn't just keep to ourselves. Please, read on. You're in for a treat.

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Letter #1

Subject: Report

Text: 

<[email protected]> just iwould like to report this (they wos selling &rating all the items in the google play so that ineed&ilike it to stop selling&rating becouse when iwos getting is free sothat please &pls STOP them thanks.

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New HBO GO Ads Acknowledge That The Reason Most Of Us Watch Shows On Mobile Devices Has Little To Do With Features

HBO has a mobile app. It lets you watch shows, and it supports Chromecast. Really, that's all that matters here. There's little else it needs in the way of features that will determine whether or not users will turn to it when the opportunity comes to spend some time with HBO. The real question is - do you really want to watch all those sex scenes on the family TV?

Let's go through the checklist. Is your mom home?

What about your dad?

Both?

Heck, let's change roles for a second. Would you really want to walk in on your daughter watching this?

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[The Android Police Files #7] But I Must Request Assistance, I Am Requesting Assistance

A flood of email fills our inboxes over the course of a month, and as the generally somewhat vaguely nice people that we pride ourselves on being, we do our best to respond to them. But we're not a helpline, nor do we hold much sway over what Google, Samsung, or Sprint say, think, and do. We, frankly, are powerless to address some of the concerns people bring to us. It's sad, I know, but take a look for yourself.

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Letter #1

Subject: NEED HELP

Text:

I WANT TO KNOW THAT IS THEIR ANT TRICK TO GET SHARE OPTION INSIDE MUSIC PLAYER OF NOTE 3 AS I DONT SEE ANY SHARE OPTION IN ANY KIT KAT DEVICE SO U HAVE ANY IDEA TO SHARE ALL SONGS AT ONCE TO SHARE VIA WHATS APP I DONT WANT TO ASTRO OR OTHER FILE MANAGER

First, press that caps lock key again and take a step back.

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The Hidden Easter Eggs Of The Google I/O 2014 Site

Did you know that the Google I/O 2014 site that went live earlier today doesn't just contain useful information about the event but also a healthy dose of geek humor, hidden away in debug messages? We have everything from clever word play to mentions of Globophobia to Doge to Star Trek references.

Bonus points to those of you who can recognize them all without Googling!

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Reticulating Splines...
There's more Ajax in this loader than an epic greek poem
♬ Reunited and it feels so good
Are you there, Boson? It's me, Margaret.
♬ Is he a dot, or is he a speck?

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[Fail] Archos CEO Demos A Water-Resistant Phone On Camera By Submerging It... And It Goes Dead

Hardware demos don't get much worse than this one. Archos CEO Loic Poirier wanted to demonstrate just how much punishment one of his company's smartphones could take, but he didn't get quite the results he wanted. He was able to drop the phone just fine, but when he placed the device in a glass and filled it with water, apparently the handset had taken all it could handle.


Le directeur d’Archos casse un smartphone censé... by Spi0n

The device in question is the Quechua Phone 5". The French brand is associated with hiking, biking, and other mountain sports capable of making your typical smartphone nervous.

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[The Android Police Files #6] Plz Bro I Need Kitkat 4.4 Stock Android Apk File For My Galaxy S4

Nearly two months have passed since our last installment of the Android Police Files, so I'm not going to spend much time on the introduction this time around. You already know what you're in for. Below are eight emails that several people out there mistakenly thought contained either legitimate questions or useful information of some kind. Unfortunately, grammar or common sense (but usually grammar) got in the way. Anyway, you've been more than patient, so without further ado, I present to you our sixth installment.

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Letter #1

Subject: (no subject)

Text:

Hai bro i want to ask you a question may i

want to know which 3D games would run on my android phone it has 204 mb ram and 1Ghz processer

Bro, are you aware that requesting my permission to ask a question is, in itself, asking a question?

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[NSFW] "What The F*** Is My Wearable Strategy" Mocks The Wearable Tech Trend With Profane Mad Libs

Have you heard about the company that just announced a smart watch? Which one? All of them. The people who decide what kind of products are going to be made have universally decided that wearable tech is the next big thing. Whether that's Google Glass, the Pebble, or something else, everyone wants to strap more technology to your person. The new site What The F*** Is My Wearable Strategy successfully lampoons the plethora of bizarre wearable tech ideas with a simple (and amusing) formula.

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