No matter how you slice and dice it, bread is awesome. And being bread, that's probably the dream, nay, the Holy Grain. Well, at least if you loaf bread as much as I do. See, I never knew I kneaded a game like this, but now that I know it exists, I can't wait to play it.

In "I am Bread," you control a slice of bread that's just doughing its best to survive the unsavory obstacles in its way. Toilets, cars, goats, bowling pins, rubber ducks, the levels are jam-packed with elements that are up to no good. Naan of these seem like perfect allies to your quest, but you'll have to use the environment to your advantage to reach your ultimate goal: becoming toast. Funnily enough — but sadly for me — that last part was true and not one of my great buns.

As you wheat your way through the levels, the goal is to keep your edibility percentage high by choosing the best route. Trials and errors are your best bets as you learn which items you can crust and which are just there to make you crumb to your knees. I am Bread is no piece of cake, it's addictive and challenging. 'Scone take you a while to figure out the ideal way to progress, so be prepared for a lot of deaths by garbage bins and vacuum cleaners.

I am Bread has been out on Steam for over a year, but it hasn't gone stale yet. It's now on a roll to the Play Store where it costs $4.99 with no IAPs. Compared to the $12.99 price on Steam, it's a nice discount, but that's the yeast the developers could do to pardon their delayed Android release.

Go give it a rye if you're interested, this is all I have to say. And that's a wrap, folks.

UPDATE: 2016/12/21 6:27am PST BY

The devs mixed a fresh batch of the game, baked it nice and well with controller support, and got a new I am Bread version specially for Android TV. Grab it hot from the oven at the link below!