Guys, did you know OnePlus is totally making an iPhone 6 case? Whaaaat. Like, that's just crazy or whatever, they'd have to be insane to make a case for a competitor's device! There's no way any phone company would ever do that, because that's, like, completely the opposite of what you're supposed to do. Nobody's ever done it, so you know it probably shouldn't be done - unless they're all just too scared. Well, OnePlus just did it, haters.
Let me just break this down for you. It's totally genius - your mind is going to be blown. Alright, ready? So, by putting the OnePlus logo on an iPhone, OnePlus is making iPhone users advertise for OnePlus. That sound in the distance? It's Don Draper's fucking head exploding. OnePlus's marketing is so guerilla, FARC is hitting them up for tips (which they totally aren't sharing). OnePlus just broke the system so bad that Tim Cook and Jony Ive are meeting with President Obama tomorrow to figure this shit out. It's complete and utter mayhem. It's so edgy I just cut myself. Hold on, I need a band-aid.
In the interest of informing you, the reader, about the many features and facts around the OnePlus Sandstone Case for iPhone, I have assembled this helpful FAQ using quotes I obtained from a fictitious OnePlus spokesperson (myself).
Q: So this is just... a case. For a phone I probably don't have. Right?
A: If by "just a case," you mean the first chapter in OnePlus's #innovative cross-platform marketing strategy portfolio which you totally don't get, obviously, then yes.
Q: Does it do anything special?
A: The OnePlus Sandstone Case for iPhone is the most innovative piece of marketing we've ever assembled, featuring features like our trademark, a sandstone texture, polycarbonate, and fitting on an iPhone 6 or 6S.*
*probably, subject to manufacturing variance and how much we actually cared about this.
Q: How much does it cost?
A: $19.99. Tax, shipping, and dignity not included.
Q: Why only the iPhone 6 and 6S, and not the 6 Plus and 6S Plus?
A: What do you think I am, a fucking magician?
Q: Who in the hell would actually buy this?
A: It doesn't matter, because designing this case (which took Steve about 3 hours - thanks, Steve) cost us as much as the average iPhone owner spends on lattes in a month, and the factory down the street is making them for about eighteen cents apiece.
Q: How is this actually going to market OnePlus? Is anybody even going to see that logo, or care?
A: Listen, Mr. Smarty Pants, we know a thing or two about #guerillamarketing, and the first rule of guerilla marketing is getting everybody to talk about your guerilla marketing, because that's guerilla marketing. So you totally just played into our hands, sucker.
Q: Is OnePlus really this cynical?
The OnePlus Sandstone Case for iPhone is available for $19.99, subject to availability / being able to live with yourself.