It's that time again, everyone: time for a trip down Terrible Smartphone Advertising Lane. Sometimes it's about the weird ads, or the cringe-y ones, or the ones that straight up suck. Let me give you some hints as to which direction we're heading today with Lenovo's new P90 smartphone ads, which feature:

  • A human in a bear suit, acting like a human. But he is a bear.
  • Two of the most horrifically pun-laden first-person narrative reads ever to be uploaded to YouTube. And yes, they are bear puns.

So, without further ado, here they are.

Hi. So, did you survive? I ask because the puns in these videos are of lethal cringe factor, particularly given their absolutely eye-twitch-inducing delivery. Also, this happened.

what

Yes, dear readers, bear-pun innuendo. I think Lenovo is telling us this woman is making an aggressive sexual advance toward our bear-hero by biting into this bear claw (hahaohgod) as though auditioning for a Klingon circa Deep Space Nine, but maybe I'm reading into it too much (I'm not).

What's slightly sad is that the visuals in these commercials are actually pretty good - I think you could get a salvageable ad out of this if you replaced the truly, deeply awful voiceover and accompanying pun-hell of a script with something - really, anything - else.

Anyway, I hope everyone's having a good day, and if you aren't, just remember: at least you weren't responsible for a script which probably contained some take on "[bites bear claw suggestively]."