20
Jan
GgJxTWbv

Have you heard about the company that just announced a smart watch? Which one? All of them. The people who decide what kind of products are going to be made have universally decided that wearable tech is the next big thing. Whether that's Google Glass, the Pebble, or something else, everyone wants to strap more technology to your person. The new site What The F*** Is My Wearable Strategy successfully lampoons the plethora of bizarre wearable tech ideas with a simple (and amusing) formula.

There are a few opening lines that sound like the sort of thing an excited (and deluded) inventor might say when happening upon a terrible idea. For example, "TIME TO QUIT YOUR FUCKING JOB, I JUST MADE A FUCKING..." Next is the mad libs part that goes like so: [thing] that [action] when [event]. Finally, finish it off with an excited and equally clueless canned response like, "GET THE FUCKING KICKSTARTER PAGE UP."

2014-01-19 22_37_34-What The Fuck Is My Wearable Strategy_ 2014-01-19 21_14_36-What The Fuck Is My Wearable Strategy_

2014-01-19 21_15_25-What The Fuck Is My Wearable Strategy_

You can click on the outro sentence to reload the page and get another randomly generated social-media-infused wearable machine. This site is good for at least a few minutes of chuckling. We've assembled just some of the many possible combinations of tweeting smartpills and vibrating umbrellas.

2014-01-19 21_16_08-What The Fuck Is My Wearable Strategy_ 2014-01-19 21_16_39-What The Fuck Is My Wearable Strategy_

2014-01-19 22_42_03-What The Fuck Is My Wearable Strategy_

[What The F*** Is My Wearable Strategy]

Ryan Whitwam
Ryan is a tech/science writer, skeptic, lover of all things electronic, and Android fan. In his spare time he reads golden-age sci-fi and sleeps, but rarely at the same time. His wife tolerates him as few would.

  • The Wearable

    So. What The F***?

  • Thatguyfromvienna

    Whoever finds this funny probably adores the Golden Girls.

  • Fatal1ty_93_RUS

    Is this supposed to be funny?

    • http://bertelking.com/ Bertel King, Jr.

      Yes. Don't worry, I tend to skim over article tags also.

  • IrishSid

    errm... wut?

  • hyperbolic

    We get it they like wearable.

  • squiddy20

    I admit I had a slight chuckle (maybe a chortle) at some of these, but none of them had me ROFL(ing?).

  • Mado

    Actually my favourite part is the "If you make it make sure it is open source" on the bottom right. I have nothing against open source and it is awesome, but I can't help but imagine.

    "Here's a contact lens that tells you when your dog poops!"
    "Ho-hum my tablone can do that already with my Super Awesome Tasker setup that is not complicated at all"
    "Oh, but we will RELEASE THE API!"
    "OMG 1 BILLION DOLLARZ FUNDING GOOGLE PLZ BUY THIS COMPANY"

  • abobobilly

    What the F*CK are they trying to say? :

  • fixxmyhead

    not funny and im baked at the moment

    • Guest

      It's not baked cause you're funny. ;)

  • GraveUypo

    i refreshed a ton looking for a funny one only to discover there's barely any variation at all.

  • John Smith

    hold it - I just fucking invented a butt plug that vibrates when you need to crap.