Wood block apps are a f*!#ing joke. Most of them don't even have mallet options or choices for wood weight or grain type. Fakeblock, which is now free on the Play Store...well, actually, it also doesn't have any of those options. But! It is still the most phenomenal block-of-wood-simulator that you will ever have the privilege of installing on your device.

2013-06-21 21.27.13

We've been waiting for this app to launch ever since the big Cinco de Quatro event where CEO George Maharis announced that the app is "real" and encouraged us to "put up this wall." The company has already received several rounds of funding including $50,000 from an unnamed executive of a real estate company. This app is the hottest thing since Schnoodle, and your life is pointless until you go download it.

Note: Yes. This is real and officially licensed.

Eric Ravenscraft
Eric is a snarky technophile with a taste for the unusual. When he's not obsessing about Android, you can usually find him obsessing about movies, psychology, or the perfect energy drink. Eric weaves his own special blend of snark, satire, and comedy into all his articles.

  • http://www.androidpolice.com/ Artem Russakovskii

    For those as confused as I was: http://arresteddevelopment.wikia.com/wiki/Fakeblock (I tried but couldn't get into it).

    • andy_o

      Definitely you cannot watch the new eps if you haven't the first 3 seasons (preferably more than twice). Even after that, season 4 is so insane and different that many people found it confusing and off-putting, but I thought it was just genius the way Mitch Hurwitz got around the actors' schedules. Hollywood gave him lemons and he made sweet, sweet $10,000 lemonade.

      • John O’Connor

        My thought is that if you didn't get all of the subtle and overt humor, this show is probably not for you. Definitely worth catching up on Netflix (the first 3 seasons) if you have not watched the show before.

    • SetiroN

      just force yourself into the first 3 episodes. it's the best TV comedy by far.

  • Roberto Giunta

    I don't know why but I feel dirty for installing this app and trying it out.

  • Michael

    LOVE THIS! The fact that this was actually made is hilarious!

  • Gob

    I've made a huge mistake

    • beano311

      Hello darkness, my old friend...

      • Caststarman

        I've come to talk with you again...

        • dj_deez

          Because a vision softly creeping...

    • Judith Johnson

      just as Norma said, I am alarmed that anyone able to make $9213 in one month on the computer. did you see this web page w­w­w.K­E­P­2.c­o­m

  • Xeratun

    It's somehow not compatible with any of my devices..

  • nwd1911

    This made my day and probably my weekend.

  • Phill_S

    Ha, that is awesome.

    But I wont be installing it given those permissions...wtf?

    • http://www.deathbycone.com Jared Kotoff

      part of the joke? wait... this is a joke right?

    • louched1

      That's insane!

    • Huton Gergö

      Best permissions ever :D

    • Brian

      It's a joke. Don't you get it?

  • Ivan Petkovic

    Well, it's kinda early here (6AM) for me to understand this, I'll try again later. But! Eric Ravenscraft! We miss you, Eric!

    • mechapathy

      Not to be confused with the 70s rock band Motherboy.

  • Phil Kulak

    Not tone, tempo. Come on!

    • Gob


    • Ryan Fino

      they're ILLUSIONS Michael. Tricks are things that whores do for money.

      • Mark Cherry

        ..or cocaine!

  • r00t4rd3d

    I have no idea what this means.

  • mechapathy

    Holy crap. Really? This post made my night.

  • http://www.youtube.com/kimirPORTALS kimir

    This app gave me wood

  • fool

    What the hxxx is that?

  • Zack Dunda

    Funny, but not nearly as awesome as this one on iOS: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/fakeblock-always-have-wood/id654761158?ls=1&mt=8

  • Wyatt Neal

    If only it had more cowbell though ...

  • nandre

    Marry me.

    • Chris

      LIke the guy in the $6300 suit is going to marry you...COME ON!


    This app bricked, er... walled my phone!

  • Tim

    I don't know what I expected.

  • Mark Cherry

    APK teardown! There might be a hint there for season 5 or the movie!

    • Guillaume Hachez

      Just did it. The app contains some odd facebook-related code.

      • adam

        It is odd because I looked up AsyncFacebookRunner and according to facebook that code is "deprecated". I don't know if that means it's just the old way to do it or if it means that code won't work anymore...

  • Ben

    And it isn't even April 1st...

  • Android wins!

    WTF is this?

  • Sean Powell

    Ooh goodies

  • IncCo

    Gobias industries !

  • perilously-garrulously

    phewf, the wood block app I've been waiting for

  • APEXnow

    Why the hell does this app require access to receiving SMS messages, taking a picture with my camera, FULL network access, and finally, to read my contacts. Like, is this one mother of a special wood block that intends to rule us all? Be scared, be VERY scared!

  • anzensepp1987

    Great! An app that does almost nothing, but is still buggy! Well done, developers!

  • Eric Garcia


  • Nick Schiwy

    Bahahaha I enjoyed this article so much, thank you.

  • ElvisMarmaduke

    This looks stupid as hell

    • Brian

      Looks like someone doesn't watch arrested development.

      • ElvisMarmaduke

        Oh no, I get it. Just nobody had said what would seem like such and obvious thing to say to a post like this lol

  • John O’Connor

    CAN SOMEONE REACH OUT TO DISCUS????!?!?!?! For the part week or so me and many others members are getting notification emails from posts that have not seen any activity since last year. I thought the entire point of subscribing to certain posts was to be notified when there were new comments and activity on those posts.

    I hope that this is not due to spammer posts that get flagged and deleted. This could be a really nasty roundabout way of trying to overload servers.

  • sinisterc

    Thank you, George Maharis, for this wonderful woodblock app. I experienced some intense wet dreams after installing this yesterday night and I woke up with a morning wood this morning

  • irratebass

    "I think I just blue myself"

  • The_Chlero

    Guy, I just installed and my life got better. Suddenly thounds of bags of money just appeared.

    Five stars rating for this one.