10
Jun
2013-06-10_18h43_49

If you're like me, you don't need much out of life. A good movie, a pretty girl, and a massive swarm of cyborg insects that you can command to bring a swift end to your enemies. Well, if this Kickstarter project has its way, we'll have the third one in no time. Meet the RoboRoach. This little kit allows you to mind control a living cockroach.

Let me repeat that for you: mind control a friggin' cockroach. A-like so:

Well, perhaps "mind control" is a bit of a stretch, as cockroaches don't exactly have "minds" in the same way we do. They are, however, aware of simple concepts like "I am near a wall." The way this Cockroach Cerebro works is it sends an electrical impulse to the insect's feelers to trick it into thinking that it's next to an object that it wants to get away from. So, it's a little less like a Chitauri scepter, and more like when a crappy 3D movie flings ping pong balls at your head. Your tiny, crunchy head.

At the time of writing, the project has received $1,325 of its $10,000 goal. If you want to get your own personal plague, each individual kit costs $100 (though they indicate the price may go down after they get funded and get through a few more development rounds). Also, bugs aren't included. However, the New World Order is essentially up to the highest bidder. For less than a new car, you can have an Android-powered swarm of insects the like of which the world hasn't seen since Moses.

Source: Kickstarter

Eric Ravenscraft
Eric is a snarky technophile with a taste for the unusual. When he's not obsessing about Android, you can usually find him obsessing about movies, psychology, or the perfect energy drink. Eric weaves his own special blend of snark, satire, and comedy into all his articles.

  • Akbar

    Man i am not touching any roaches!!! Robo or not!

    • hyperbolic

      fuck yea

  • Michael

    WTF

  • aaron

    Seems sad.

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/ David Ruddock

      I kind of agree, it's a bit sad to watch the video. Though it's worth noting that insects do not have what we would call a normal "brain" (it's more like a really dense, somewhat complex cluster of nerves), and it is extremely unlikely that they experience anything we would understand as pain.

      Also, we feed these things to pets all the time without any feelings of remorse. At least this has a quasi-scientific / educational purpose.

      • ScottColbert

        I think it's not so much what the roach feels but our reaction to it. I hate roaches and even though I write horror, find this very disturbing.

        It also reminds me of a scene out of Stephen King's book The Tommyknockers.

      • nxym

        shit man, i ain't feeding no cockroaches to my pets!

        • Phil Oakley

          They eat them all the time when they're outside without you even knowing. It's a natural thing. My cat catches fly's. We try to stop her - more for the fly's sake than hers - but it's a natural thing to do. All part of the food chain.

    • ssj4Gogeta
  • Mike Larrabee

    "Attach the backpack", yeah this seems to be the kicker.

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/author/eric-ravenscraft/ Eric Ravenscraft

      No one ever rose to power without getting their hands dirty. And by "dirty" I mean "all over some squirmy, crunchy, crittery cockroach bodies.

      God, I hate insects, why am I getting so delighted about making this sound as disgusting as possible?

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/ David Ruddock

      Actually, roaches can be bought at many pet stores and the easiest way to do this "surgery" would be to toss one of them int the freezer for about 30 minutes. Should give you enough time to do the deed, and the roach will "wake up" as its body temperature increases again.

      • Mike Larrabee

        Ahh...I didn't know there was a roach expert on AP staff (shouldn't be suprised, i guess). Be sure to include that on your resume. ;)

      • random troll

        Lol. Reminds me of the ol' pet-fly trick!

      • http://www.youtube.com/kimirPORTALS kimir

        Replace the word "roach" with "hooker" for a new research project.

  • Mastermind26

    And what happens when the roach dies????

  • Eduardo Espino

    Just sad...

  • ElfirBFG

    Someone recreate a live action of Bad Mojo.

  • David Margolin

    Now if only we could get these backpacks to work on humans...

  • james kendall

    thats just freaky

  • Guest

    assuming your girl likes bugs...... even then you best bet is just to fly solo or be gay...

  • http://gamingblather.com/ Drak

    This has already been done on humans. It's called an iPhone.

    • MrNice1

      Your username has been officially banned from apple stores.

  • Sootie

    Does it come with extra pins to attach camera's and a detonator for some explosives?

    If I can catch one of the bastards I can wait till it goes back to its nest and detonate the bomb muhahaha

    • GraveUypo

      you remind me when i did find the nest one time there were a ton of roaches appearing in my house. i sprayed an entire can of RAID on all the openings and in the next morning there were literally thousands of dead roches on the patio, and all kinds of color i never knew roaches could even be. tons of white, transparent, translucent red, blue, green, even pink baby roaches scattered by the hundreds. i felt like i massacred an entire civilization that day.

      oh, they never came back. that was two years ago.

  • GraveUypo

    roaches... that's a start. call me when they're making models for these puppies i find on the tennis court every now and then

    http://s21.postimg.org/bhughqhuv/Untitled_1.png

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=708741524 Robb Nunya

      Where do you live, and are those good with ketchup?

  • Zaatour36

    this is so freaking funny:D

  • MrNice

    No lazors, no fun.

  • furi

    there are things you just do not do.
    this is nothing but sick

  • Darryl

    This should be banned outright. It's cruelty.

    • Steve Green

      Please explain. How is this cruel?
      A roach does not have nervous system like ours. They can't even experience what you think of as pain. They simply respond to stimuli like a very simple machine.

      • Patrick Eslinger

        you don't KNOW that. and I'm not as touchy feely "meat is murder" about things like this normally, but the "they don't feel pain" claim i think is bogus because there is no way to know that, and the "we feed these to our pets" claim is also bogus because food is a necessity, This is just effing with a living thing just for entertainment. It's less about if it's 'cruel' to the animal per se and more about what it means for US to do this, weather or not the roach feels it. I just would not enjoy doing this because it FEELS cruel, even if it isn't. But that's just me.

        • http://billhay.es/ Bill Hayes

          Not just you, it just feels wrong. But that's probably because I have absolutely zero understanding of insect brains and the default temptation when we don't understand a creature is to use what we know and apply anthropomorphism. In logical terms I'd totally remote-control a simple robot and if that's all cockroaches are then that's fine. I don't know enough cockroaches to know if that's true, however, so with my current level of understanding it just wouldn't feel right.

      • Dexter

        Not too long ago there were who scientists believed that children couldn't feel pain due to their nervous systems not being fully developed. Hence dentist skipping anesthesia when treating children etc.
        Turned out that some of these underdeveloped circuits, when mature, are responsible for suppressing pain and that it's probably the other way around.

        Not saying that this applies to roaches, but we should recognize that what we think we know isn't always true. I'm sure roaches have some kind of a good/bad system in place, however they even realize that this is bad is another question.

        • Steve Green

          Citation please.

          I am not sure roaches have a system like that. I highly doubt it. We all recognize that our knowledge may not be perfect, that changes nothing.

  • Greyhame

    Great opening lines Eric! Thoroughly enjoy your articles. =)

  • grain

    eeeeeewwwwwww

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=708741524 Robb Nunya

    Can I put knives on it and send it in to kill all the others?

  • GazaIan

    This seems sad. It's almost like slavery. I'd rather just step on the little fuckers instead of torture them.