30
Apr
googlexlimepie

Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we? The year was 2012, the Galaxy S III and the HTC One X were still new, and some jerk on the internet suggested that maybe it's cool if people started appreciating their amazing phones instead of complaining about how their device wasn't revolutionary.

In the time since then, certain segments of the tech community have opted to go in the other direction. Rather than accept that smartphones are incredible and that the wow-factor comes from using them instead of hyped up tech events, some people believe that the next revolution is just right around the corner. Which, you know, is true. Technically. That's the thing about technology: it keeps getting better and continues to wow us.

But then...they started giving it names.

There Is Literally No Firm Information About The X Phone

xphone

Concept sketch of Motorola X Phone based on confirmed information.

Chief offender on this front is the X Phone. For the uninitiated, the X Phone is the name given to a mythical device that Motorola is probably working on, but that could be called literally anything by the time it comes out. Motorola could announce a new RAZR that was secretly code named the X Phone and you'd never know it.

Why? Because we have confirmed exactly jack about this device. Oh, we hear rumors, sure. We heard it will be creepy and made of wood. We heard it will launch in June with Key Lime Pie, then in July with a touch-sensitive back panel, and then again in August with always-on voice recognition. That's a lot of releases! Not to mention features. Oh, and my favorite one of all is the definitive proof that the X Phone will be completely customizable because Guy Kawasaki asked a question on Google+.

Could these be true? Sure. Well, except for the release dates in three separate, consecutive months. That's just contradictory. And ignoring this big pile of evidence that Key Lime Pie is not coming out at Google I/O. Except those, sure there's no reason that the phone couldn't have optional touch-sensitive wood paneling in your choice of color. Why the hell not?

However, we can't prove that any of that is going to come to pass. Why? There's no evidence. Here are the things we can actually say with relative certainty about the new devices coming out of the post-Google Motorola:

  • They will have an unnamed "just right" size.
  • They will run a version of Android that is pretty close to stock.
  • They will be advertised as a cross carrier brand.
  • They're not coming until the second half of 2013.

That's it. Note a couple things here: one, none of this information is really solid. It's, at best, a guide. The size will be "just right," but we don't know what size it will be. It will be "unadulterated" Android, but what does that mean? It will be a cross carrier brand, but who will get it?

Secondly, these facts describe multiple devices. Not just one. In other words, if there is an X Phone, then it's a flagship leading a fleet, not a single device like we see with the Nexus line. It's also probably not coming in August. Very rarely do companies announce a product for the "second half" of a year and deliver three months later. If it can be narrowed down that much, they usually refer to a "quarter." That's not to say it's impossible, but it's very unlikely.

To put it another way, much like with the "multiple Nexus devices" we were promised last year, the "X Phone" will probably not be what you expect by the time it arrives. To put it another another way, most things you read about the alleged X Phone right now are completely made up.

Let's learn from the past on this one.

Key Lime Pie Is A Figment Of Your Imagination Right Now

Google is absolutely working on a version 5.0 of its Android operating system. This is more or less undeniable. That's how time works. It goes forward. However, as of right now, there is less than no information about what Android 5.0 will eventually bring. How do you get to less than no information? Simple. By making crap up. Even if we had any real information, it would drown in the flood of fanboy fantasies.

Here's the general speculation regarding Key Lime Pie: it will be the next major revision of Android, it will be a huge sweeping change in the same way that Ice Cream Sandwich was, and it will crap unicorns which then crap rainbows and those buttbows will point to a magical land of leprechauns and orgasms where beautiful women will give you buckets of gold and everyone will get timely OS updates. Or something.

There's just one problem with this theory: there has only been one major point-oh revision of Android that has been largely praised. That was Ice Cream Sandwich. You know what the others were? The first was Éclair (2.0), which brought Navigation with it (though not as a platform exclusive), and little else worth paying attention to. The second was Honeycomb which was godawful. It was rushed, unfinished, buggy, and I still sometimes punch my Xoom in the neck when I get too angry thinking about it.

honeycomb

Sometimes when we get an Android overhaul, we get ICS. Other times, we get this.

The idea that Key Lime Pie—if that even is what Android 5.0 will be called, which is nowhere near confirmed—will be a huge leap forward for Android is one that is based entirely on wishful thinking. Five is a bigger number than four, right? And it has a point-zero next to it. It must be better!

Don't get me wrong. I think Android is in a much better place now than it was when the last major revisions came about. Honeycomb was the worst of all, but our lord and savior Matias Duarte only had a few months to turn that ship around. An act he referred to as a "crash landing." However, before we assume that the next sweeping overhaul will be a huge, fantastic explosion of beauty and functionality, perhaps it's best if we asked...do we even want that? Or would we rather have some improvements to the rest of the ecosystem?

Ron put together a great overview of the things that Google's working on (and let's be real, if anyone knows, it's him). Most of the promising features that are being developed are (probably) version agnostic. Google Games, unified messaging, Play News, more Google Maps features, Google Now, Quickoffice. Mountain View could make a ton of improvements to the Android ecosystem without ever touching Android. Not that they will, of course. There will definitely be some improvements to Android. But the most sweeping changes right now are happening on the Play Store and in the peripheral content.

In short, imagining a mythical version of Android that changes everything in some unnamed way is futile because we already see a very detailed, very real blueprint of changes that are coming and they're awesome. Which leads us to our final point.

Complaining About What Google "Needs" To Do Is Whiny And Pointless

Yesterday, Google released Google Now on iOS and pissed a select group of people off. I say select group of people because, by and large, most folks were happy. The groups of people who enjoyed the news included iOS users, Google fans who don't get bent out of shape when someone else plays with their toys, and people who like technology.

Hide thine eyes from the shameless sins of Google!

A vocal minority, however, took this opportunity to tell Google what it needs to do. Because, you see, this is a betrayal. Now, Google has to make up for it. Key Lime Pie had better blow us out of the water, and man that X Phone has to be something amazing and and and...

Shut up.

I love talking about the future of Android. I love imagining what's coming next and I even love predicting things and being wrong. It's fun. It's a learning experience. Tech inspires us to do this very thing. When it turns dark, however, is when we suddenly start acting like Google owes us something. As though the audacity of sharing a product with more users justifies outrageous and flippant demands. This attitude is the pinnacle of tech elitism and entitlement.

Here are things that are true:

  • Motorola is working on some cool new phones.
  • Android 5.0 will probably come at some point in the future.
  • Platform fragmentation is an inherent issue with Android.
  • People still overwhelmingly choose Android despite Google services on iOS.
  • Google will never, ever, ever dictate its product line based on what you demanded in a whiny comment.

Anything beyond this is superfluous and bratty. If you think that Google has to do something, you're probably wrong. If you think that, at this point, Android is going to suddenly crash and burn if you don't get the feature you like, you're definitely wrong.

Most of all, though, if you base your indulgent expectations on made-up reports about unreleased products, and then get all Veruca Salt over how Google better deliver on this crap you pulled out of thin air, you are more kinds of wrong than I have words to describe.

Relax

prettythings

Here is a pretty picture of a lake by some mountains. Think about this instead of how Google betrayed you.

Don't worry. Your future is going to be awesome. Even if you're stuck using a crappy phone right now, it's going to get better. Hell, even if you're forever stuck with cheap, crappy phones, the bar is being raised so much that by the time you get a new device, the amount of things that a low-end handset can do will be incredible.

This is the price we pay. Android supports hundreds of devices and dozens of form factors. Because of that, it's impossible for everyone to have the same experience, and consequently some people will be left behind. If it's not Google Now, then it will be something else. However, most critical features are not bundled as part of the OS, and the ones that are will come in time. This is part of the reason that Google continues to activate 1.5 million devices per day, despite the slow rollout of new Android versions.

Take a moment to appreciate what your phone can do already. Ten years ago, YouTube didn't exist. For those with short memories, at that time, it was difficult to share your own video online at all. Now, you can watch television shows and movies, record your own, set it to music, upload it to an audience of thousands or millions, then kick back with some Reddit, read some comics, pay your bills, IM your friends, and find out what's happening on the other side of the world. Your device can tell you when your package is going to get delivered without asking, it can transcribe what you say without a single keystroke, and pinpoint where you are in the world to recommend restaurants in your neighborhood before you even know you're hungry. All of that from your phone. Half that stuff wasn't even possible on a desktop ten years ago.

Slow down and appreciate how good life is before you start demanding that Google stimulate your thrill center again.

Eric Ravenscraft
Eric is a snarky technophile with a taste for the unusual. When he's not obsessing about Android, you can usually find him obsessing about movies, psychology, or the perfect energy drink. Eric weaves his own special blend of snark, satire, and comedy into all his articles.

  • MasterControlProgram

    You know what? You're completely right and I applaud you. Thank you.

    • New_Guy

      NO HE ISN'T!!! THIS ARTICLE IS THE MOST...

      ...okay, okay, he's right. Damn I have to get off my Google horse :).

      • Nevi_me

        Google horse? Is it also on the I/O rumor list? (Just kidding lol)

        True on the KLP bit, some people might get tired of reading this from me, but last year at I/O Google gave the impression (more than hinted, just can't remember who gave the talk) that they're not going to release the next dessert this year. Don't know if anyone else recalls that.

        It makes sense because Android is getting a bad/worse name for having more than 40% of its users running on really outdated OSes. They'd be fanning the flame if they go up to KLP while JB is still only at 25%. It fuels the iDiots that yap on about fragmentation, even know they don't really understand fragmentation (which, by the way, Android is really fragmented i the way that the fanboys refer to, because of the wilderness of API differences in the various versions).

        JB (esp 4.2) really felt buggy, and Google has the opportunity to work on that, plus Duarte is 'still only a third at what he wants Android to be', I would think it better to improve while still at JB, instead of a new revolutionary version with new design guidelines that people will only catch on to after a year and half.

        Let's relax on the "Key Lime Pie is next" predictions, if 4.3 is KLP I'll order and eat humble pie and just shut up

      • claus

        in next android KLP, google should remove the primary source of lag and resource hog in Android: Java and Virtual Machine.

        there, I say it.

        • New_Guy

          Not to say you are wrong, but what would be your proposed solution if not JVM. And would the solution justify any increased costs, assuming there will be?

        • blunden

          And your proof that that is really the problem? iOS uses a lot of tricks to seem faster than it really is. Apps stop loading content when you scroll etc. As long as the JIT works well and the GC behaves in a good way the performance difference in most cases will not be noticable. JVMs and VMs for other languages in general have really moved forward in recent years.

      • http://twitter.com/Bluewall Bluewall

        Google horse AKA Google Lasagna !
        (sorry, this had to be done)

    • Simon Belmont

      MCP? Shouldn't all of your posts, by default, finish with "end of line?"

      Love Tron. The original one, that is.

      • MasterControlProgram

        Whoops, you're right. My bad. I forget sometimes. End of line

  • shamu11

    "...and it will crap unicorns which then crap rainbows and those buttbows will point to a magical land of leprechauns and orgasms where beautiful women will give you buckets of gold and everyone will get timely OS updates. Or something."

    That was beautiful!

    • http://www.facebook.com/dejan.stanojevic.1023 Dejan Stanojević

      Although you did get carried away a bit with those timely OS updates... :) Nice text

  • John

    Damn right, Eric. Well put

    http://i.imgur.com/psBOh.gif

  • http://twitter.com/Gehim Rehan Ahmed

    +1000 to this post!

  • neopanther

    Glad someone said it.

  • Stephen Fronda

    Amen! About damn time someone said it!!

  • Tommy Thompson

    Reasons why I love Android Police.

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/ Artem Russakovskii

      TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS.

      • Tommy Thompson

        Your reviews, your contests, everythang!

      • Brandon Watkins

        You guys bring quality to android news!

      • scuttlefield

        I also feel like this article rightly represents the way that Android Police go about reporting information...based on facts, research, knowledge, and well-informed opinion, not baseless rumors, gut feelings, and regurgitated swill.

        • Justin Swanson

          I thought everyone liked swill?

      • Mike Reid

        Telling it like it is, without fanboyism or "making crap up and then whining about it.".

        #1 Android news site.

  • http://www.AndroidAllies.com/ Max M.

    You are absolutely right but can't I just dream of an Android update that "will crap unicorns which then crap rainbows and those buttbows will point to a magical land of leprechauns and orgasms where beautiful women will give you buckets of gold and everyone will get timely OS updates"?

    Buttbows. Heh.

  • http://www.theandroidsite.com benmarvin

    "our lord and savior Matias Duarte"

    Amen.

  • Suhas Vemuri

    Take a bow my HoloBrother.. Not at all complaining about google releasing their services on iOS but i wish they were equally good on android.. Take the youtube app for example.. Lets hope for the best..

    • Suhas Vemuri

      And spot on about the Xoom.. I wanted to love it so bad but its just is ughhhh.. can't even sell it..

      • http://www.modminecraft.com/ Nick Coad

        I still have my XOOM (even though I now use a Nexus 10) and I love it dearly, it's never given me any trouble at all.

        • Tomi Golob

          Masochist :(

  • Samuel Hart

    Awesome article, spot on! :D

  • Joshua

    I agree. I think we should be happy without being complacent. Being complacent and just accepting what's handed to you, even if you think it's lacking, isn't great because the product stagnates (can anyone say iOS?) and the company providing it doesn't necessarily feel compelled to improve. However, being completely unappreciative is also bad. I think we can hit a nice balance on how we feel about these things without just allowing the product to stagnate.

    • Ben

      Still tech blogs shouldn't be imagining bullshit, X phone is such rubbish, that Google is definitely going to disappoint and piss off people when they announce their actual products...

      • Joshua

        Don't get me wrong, I agree that rampant, unsupported speculation isn't good! I don't think they should make shit up and then cry when they were wrong. However, I think the opposite extreme-complete complacency-is just as bad because it doesn't allow the tech. After all, what such an extreme implies is that there are no customers saying "It would be really nice if (really awesome feature) were included," which means that no steps would be taken towards such a feature. It may be miles away and require a lot of work to produce an absolutely terrible initial product, but time would fix that. The first step is necessary, and so I think that speculation is a good thing when it's reasonable.

        • FrillArtist

          So the point is that we have to strike that fine balance between aggressive lying and passive submission.

  • Kenny O

    "The groups of people who enjoyed the news included iOS users, Google fans who don't get bent out of shape when someone else plays with their toys, and people who like technology" - You forgot "people that have lots of Google stock and recognize that this only increases revenue"

    • Chester Moy

      If they can own that many Google stocks, then..... then.. they're pretty well off

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dominick-White/642535026 Dominick White

    Thank you so much for this, the people that were going on and on about the X phone were starting to piss me off , and the worse of them was bionic that comments over on droid-life

    • SlenderSniper

      Especially the other android news sites.

  • Tíghearnán Carroll

    I liked the concept drawing of the X Phone :)

    • SlenderSniper

      I can't see it for some reason...

      • Guest

        *whoosh*

        • SlenderSniper

          Edited

      • scuttlefield

        Don't worry...I refreshed my page thinking that the pic didn't load, before reading the picture caption and figuring it out.

        • http://www.androidpolice.com/ Artem Russakovskii

          That was our master plan - pageview$$$$$$$$$.

      • BaconEater
        • SlenderSniper

          Lol exactly!

    • blunden

      BREAKING NEWS: The X Phone will have the most minimalist design ever!

      • Chester Moy

        BREAKING: The X Phone will utilize holographic imagery to display images into empty space within the user's field of vision! An unnamed source has suggested that objects in the 3 dimensional space can be manipulated via gestures. The future is here!

        • Mike Reid

          : The X Phone will be disappointing.

  • http://www.androidpolice.com/ David Ruddock
    • Kenny O

      And add "I'm never going to use another new Google service again, because they could take it away"

      • Nevi_me

        Rumor has it that Android is going away in 2014, with Google itself shutting down in 2016, plus didn't they mention 30 days ago that Youtube was one big contest that is now coming to an end? ... /s

        • Nimer55

          Sometimes it's okay to leave out the "/s". I know sarcasm is sometimes hard to interpret in text, but if someone couldn't figure out that post wasn't serious, they have bigger problems than thinking Google is shutting down.

          • Justin Swanson

            Wait, Google is shutting down? WTF!? First Reader and now the whole company? I've been an Android fan for years!! How could they do this to me?

    • infogulch

      Fixed:

      • New_Guy

        Ha!

      • infogulch

        Strange, Discus comments seems to be not only html markup aware, but fully parsing tags and emitting them from the parsed representation not the original text. E.g. the attributes above are in reverse order and I ended with a /> not a full closing tag. Seems David had the same problem.

  • DennisHeffernan

    You're being reasonable again...you know how that works on the Internet....

  • New_Guy

    Damn good article, Eric, and well worth the read. I found myself in a couple of those paragraphs, but whatever. Even I have to admit that I can become a fanboy at times, but I embrase it :).

    • Ben

      *embrace. (Sorry for being a grammar Nazi).

      • New_Guy

        crap! I thought I fixed that... darn swiftkey!

  • http://twitter.com/cthonctic Cthonctic

    Where do I sign this phenomenal manifest of sensibility? There will always be a vocal minority with unreasonable expectations and a bad attitude even if the rest of us wished they'd shut up for once.

    I for one love living in the future, and always look forward to more amazing tech.

  • andrew__des_moines

    That being said, this is what Google NEEDS TO DO:
    - Control apps' use of radio and power resources (or make it dead simple for users)
    - Overhaul the Contacts app
    - Stop resetting defaults when an app is updated

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/ David Ruddock

      Everyone looking for someone to downvote, look no further.

      • Freak4Dell

        He's been downvoted so far down that I really can't look much further.

      • andrew__des_moines

        Ouch. More than anything, I was reciprocating the mild absurdity of an article complaining about complaining. Android's excellence and blazing fast advancement over the last few years has saved us all from the limited consumer choice iOS and Windows would have offered. Whatever is left between Jellybean and perfection is just a razor thin slice of Key Lime Pie.

  • Aaron Berlin

    I really don't mind speculation. I just hate it when one article on a blog I've never heard of states something as fact that is and has always been rumor (or even when it's completely new) and then it gets passed around by bigger and bigger blogs as though it's true. Then suddenly sentences like "as we know, the X Phone will be unveiled at I/O this May" to support yet more unfounded rumors. This is not good behavior and we shouldn't reward it with our clicks!

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/ Artem Russakovskii

      100 times this.

  • superwolfkin

    [Search PHONE(S)] [Replace VIDEOGAME(S)]

  • Darrien Glasser

    Pocketed for reading again when I'm ready to jump through the window because of locked bootloaders or bitching fan boys.

    Thank you very much AP.

  • http://www.androidpolice.com/ Artem Russakovskii

    This is the best editorial I've ever read on this site. Good job, Eric Police.

    • Nimer55

      Speaking of police. I think the name "Android rumour & speculation police" would be a more accurate description of this website. Because you don't really police Android, but the news and speculation around it. (And I'm not only referring to this post).

      Granted, it would be a "slightly" less catchy name.

  • Humberto Hernandez

    Nice article.

  • Kokusho

    I don't like how everyone like to bash Honeycomb for being what it was.

    What was Honeycomb ? Honeycomb was the fresh start-over Android needed to become the awesome OS we have today. I can't think of ANY update of ANY Software that changed this much. Back then the introduction just blew my mind, Everything was new, everything was bold, even the way the applications had to be develop changed. It's when Android was reborn as a real product, futur proof, with a vision with a direction.

    So yeah sure, it was unfinished, slow, buggy and sometime ugly, my TF101 is like 10 times better today than it was 3 years ago. But it gave developper the chance to handle the new framework, to release some new applications which were much much muchhhhhh better than the old ones, even on Honeycomb.

    So when ICS came out, which was nothing more than a finished Honeycomb, there were already hundreds of fresh, well designed applications that worked perfectly on both phone and Tablet. If it wasn't for honeycomb, ICS would have been a pretty OS with god awfull gingerbread apps...

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/author/eric-ravenscraft/ Eric Ravenscraft

      I had a Xoom during the entire gap between HC and ICS. There were not nearly as many decent apps that worked on both phones and tablets as one might think. A handful, maybe, but developers were very much uninterested in working on the platform until ICS came around.

      Don't get me wrong, it was a necessary jump and there's no way to get from new to old without the journey in between. But just because you made it to the top of Mount Everest doesn't mean it didn't suck when your dick froze and fell off.

      Yes, I equate Honeycomb with genital loss. Totally not bitter.

      • Joshua

        Aaaaand that last sentence is why I love you.

      • scuttlefield

        Sure, not you have to sit down to pee, but hey, that's more time to play with your awesome Android device!

        • http://www.androidpolice.com/author/eric-ravenscraft/ Eric Ravenscraft

          You kidding me? I sit down to pee anyway! Why the hell would I waste an opportunity to sit down and relax? I never understood this about guys.

          This has been Too Much Information Theater! Good night everybody!

      • dextersgenius

        Honeycomb is to ICS like Vista was to Win7.

        There. I said it.

  • brkshr

    Well said!

  • Angel Penabad

    Android has reached a point where it knows better than me what I want, even before I know. Currents, Keep, Now, damn I never thought of things like that, never used similar apps in the past but now I really love them.

    I didn't even knew the benefits of synchronization on Chrome until they said "ey, keep all your chrome installations synched just by logging your Google account".

    So now I just wait with the 'wow' prepared. Great article.

  • http://iamandroid.co/profile/rocktoonz Rocktoonz

    Not only do I agree with everything here, and applaud you for finally being the one to spell it out, but I have one more small point I'd like to add:

    Prepare to be disappointed
    No matter what the future brings, what mind-blowing features lurk just around the corner, someone's not going to be happy about it. It might be me, it might be you, it might be Apple or Samsung or HTC. No one, not even Google, can or will even try to please everyone.

    Google is a business. They are out for one thing: PROFIT. They are not in the hardware business. They are not in the OS business. Their business is advertising. Their goal is to find new and better ways to get their advertising in front of as many eyes as they can find. Period.

    Many many people will absolutely love what's coming when it arrives. Just as many will hate it. Even more won't care, they just want a phone that can take pictures, surf the web, and update their twitter.

    Be prepared to be in any or all of those groups.

  • Reginald Spence II

    Well said, Eric. You deserve a standing ovation of this one. :-)

  • Konstantinos

    Damn, Eric's hyper today! That's good. :P

  • mitchsurp

    I'd like to take issue with the X Phone rendering. You know it's going to have a Motorola logo on the back.

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/author/eric-ravenscraft/ Eric Ravenscraft

      This is a front view.

      • http://www.androidpolice.com/ Artem Russakovskii

        Pfft, no see-through body? Rabble rabble.

  • http://twitter.com/lean6rtj2 lean6rtj

    I guess you would have to know that this author hasn't been one to write tech fiction in the past.... These articles for most people are pages on Flipboard...there are no such things as "individuals". "Android Whatever" had an article.

  • MrAntisocialGuy

    Common sense in a tech article, how unusual. But, but, but, the Motorola X phone HAS to be real, I read about it on the INTERNET. Everything on the internet is true, isn't it?

  • Colin Barnett

    I heard the next version of Android will actually be called Koala Cake. real bits of koala bear in every app.

  • Justin Moore

    Here here!

  • Simon Belmont

    Just curious. Was this article written, in part, because of a certain recent post on Pocketnow about the iOS Google Now? Eh, never mind, don't answer that. No need to stir the shit.

    I agree with Eric on this though. Good article and well written too. Loved the part about unicorns and rainbows. Haha.

  • Ralph Miranda

    Listen, Nexus 5 is coming out with Android 6 in every color of the rainbow including plaid and there's nothing you can do about it.

  • EMullins

    I keep saying this to people but they get mad at me for not believing everything I read on the internet, so I just forwarded them this article.

  • http://www.bordersweather.co.uk/ Andy J

    I can answer at least one of those rumours with an unequivocal answer - there will not be any phone with "always on" voice recognition - battery technology has a long long long way to go before we can achieve that feat....

  • FrillArtist

    Eric Ravenscraft is usually an annoying cynic but he's right. People need to chill and stop over obsessing over Android things.

  • http://petercast.net Peterson Silva

    Man, you write very well - one of the reasons I love AP. Your writing style reminds me of Cracked. Specially with the text below pictures :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/samyak.ranjan Samyak Ranjan

    Hahahaha, Totally!
    You crack me up with your style of writing Eric.
    On a serious note, Haters gonna hate.

  • The_C_a_t

    Interesting article, and quite well written. Thanks! And, yeah, having started out on an Apple II+, my iPhone 4S ROCKS.

    >^o.-^<

  • MindFever

    But...didn't AP report on said rumours ?

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/author/eric-ravenscraft/ Eric Ravenscraft

      I can promise you that we have never, ever, *ever* seriously reported on phones with wood paneling, customizable RAM, or any of the other silly things mentioned here. Take a look at our X Phone tag page: http://www.androidpolice.com/tags/x-phone/ There are exactly three articles. One with the initial WSJ rumor (because the WSJ has some credibility, but David also explained how that rumor was pretty much obvious anyway), one with actual information from Motorola execs, and the third is this article. Our page for Key Lime Pie is similarly sparse: http://www.androidpolice.com/tags/key-lime-pie/

      We do cover rumors and we don't always get it right 100% of the time, but there's huge internal debate about posting even the most reliable-sounding rumors every time one comes across our wire. Frankly, we take pride in skipping stories when they sound far-fetched or don't have a reliable basis in evidence. The nature of news means that sometimes we're going to cover things that aren't official, but I'd like to think that we do a good job of bringing our readers only the most trustworthy information.

      • Tomi Golob

        Thanks for that clarification. (Sorry I couldn't login before with my G+ account so I used that nickname). I really didn't mean to insinuate you guys for being like Android And Me ...just for the sake of objectivity I asked because I rembered a few of the articles you mentioned. Of course my memory is not nearly as good as I would like to believe...

  • LewisSD

    THANK YOU!

    This article sums up how I was feeling after reading an article on another blog yesterday. In the comments the author of the article attempted to defend his position by referring to the "X Phone" as a solid fact.

    It kind of reminds me of those ancient alien shows where they take one very far out theory then use it as a fact to explain another question.

  • faceless128

    you're right on most stuff.

    however, there was one minor detail that went awry.

    the people complaining about Google Now on iOS were complaining because their Gingerbread and ICS devices didn't have it.

    how is that not a valid complaint?

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/author/eric-ravenscraft/ Eric Ravenscraft

      That is a valid complaint. I think I addressed that. "Platform fragmentation is an inherent issue with Android." And I do think it's kind of a problem. I don't think it's as huge of a deal as people make it out to be, though. The fact is, most new Google apps are available without an OS upgrade. This goes all the way back to 2.0 and the advent of Navigation, which was made available on 1.6. In fact, if anything, Google Now is the exception, not the rule. Does it suck that you have to have Jelly Bean to use Google Now? Yes. But, what's the solution? "Well, don't require a new OS every time you release an app update!" Okay. That's what Google does, though.

      Believe me, I get that it's frustrating. But Google Now wasn't kept as a Jelly Bean exclusive to drive new device sales or anything similarly shady. That's just not Google's model. However, Google Now *did* requires some new features of Android like the ability to call itself from anywhere in the OS and, if I had to guess, perhaps some reliance on that new offline voice transcription stuff that also came with 4.1. It blows, but it's temporary. I mean, what's the alternative, practical solution here? How could Google do it differently besides "just make it work with older versions"? Do we really think Google wouldn't have done that if they could? Because that's how they handle virtually every other app they make.

      It's a valid complaint, but it's really not about Google Now. It's about slow OS updates, which is something that we've all recognized is an issue with Android for a long time. And I don't even really have a problem with people discussing that. It's when people take that extra step into thinking Google *owes* them something earth shattering as recompense for this mortal sin. If you want to say that slow OS updates are a problem, then okay. If you want to say that Google Now for iOS demonstrates a tragic irony because there are, by the nature of the platforms, more supported iOS users than Android, that's fair. However, if you want to say that releasing Google Now for iOS *at all* before a majority of Android users can get it is an "insult"? Well that's just silly.

      • faceless128

        Well, me personally, i've been using it forever, first on my Epic running CM10 and then on my Note 2... the people i see complaining are more average and know the iOS version is 'not as good' as the JB version and wondering why they couldn't get something along the lines of the iOS version.

  • http://twitter.com/and1945 Andreas Brandenborg

    +1

  • Matthew Fry

    Google absolutely must fix their buggy ass Nexus 10. There actually is no excuse for that.

  • zab

    Where can I fav your post?

    Ah, right here. Fully agree with your writing!
    Where there is light there is shadow too.

    But geez does Android shine bright!

  • Fellwalker

    Wonderful article. The alternative headline could have been. Why do all headlines end with a question mark? Writers seem to think they can spout the most appalling drivel just with a "?". I suppose the more ludicrous the question the more people will exclaim surprise and click to read it, thus generating advertising revenue. Let me think, that would probably be for Google as well as the blog /magazine. So it is in Google 's interest to have as many unfounded rumours as possible going the rounds.
    After some 45 years of buying tech of various sorts, I can confirm that the greatest and best tech is always released the day after I finally succumb and buy something.
    BTW, I'm very happy with JB, but prior to that did not feel android gave me more than windows mobile 6.5. The improvements to JB have mainly left me cold.

  • John O’Connor

    but but but but... What about the Google Underwear? You know, the always on android-in-the-pants.... I guess we'll just have to wait for the Android 13.2 SweatyBetty Denim edition.

    SMDH, Hit the nail on the head again Eric; this is why we keep you around ;-)

    • mldi

      ... someone, quick! Invent a dessert called "Sweaty Betty" IMMEDIATELY!

  • http://omgdroid.com/ Tony Simons

    Holy shit. This shit should be biblical! Well. Fucking. Put. Great read, Eric. Thanks a ton for posting this.

  • tedleaf

    you fail to mention anywhere in this opinion piece thats you and lots of other folk need to wave opinions and crap about devices for the very simple reason is that you are paid to.
    so why should any of us pay the slightest bit of notice of anything you say.
    you seem to have decided that nothing happened before icrud and fandroid released, what crud, no sony p series, no htchdw a winmo 6.5 device, a device that is still one of the best devices ever relaesed, how much can you get for an old mark 1 icrud on fleabay, bet the hd2 still costs more, not bad for a 6 year old device.
    you are most bloggers opinioated and under educated or just lazy and paid to push product.
    bloggers like you and others are the problem, but look at how boring the news would be if you only actualy only reported facts...

    • Chris

      That's the point of a blog, to share your opinions on things. The only one with a problem is you not to mention being "under educated" with your spelling, punctuation and grammar.

  • Gaurav Chandiramani

    Absolutely awesome. Very very very well written.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/psychomaniac189 psychomaniac189

    I dont mean to be that guy, but saying that complaining about what google has to do is pointless when you post articles about what they should do (problems with android os) it makes no sense.

  • http://twitter.com/ajdomanico Anthony Domanico

    Agreed. The sensationalism is a bit too much lately.

    Well done.

  • mldi

    Speaking of raising the bar for the "free, crappy" phones...

    My mother just got a SGS3 on Sprint with her contract renewal... for free. Other choices included the HTC One, LG Optimus G, and the iPhone 4S.

    All of which are goddamn amazing devices.

    Remember when that POS flip phone costed you $50?

    Yeah. That was 5 years ago.

    • Chris

      thats about how much my motorola i9 cost back in 2009 on Boost. Battery over heated and almost exploded on me. Got a Blackberry after that before the trackball fell off. Decided to try out for a major carrier. iPhone on ATT or the HTC EVO 4G on Sprint. ATT's prices and deposit sold me on the EVO and my entrance into android.

  • Suhas Lotlikar

    AWESOME Article!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/bradart.ink Brad Ganley

    I love you guys.

    This all reminds me of when Instagram was brought to Android and the level of butthurt from the iPhone crowd was so outrageous that it made my head spin. Everybody could probably stand to shut the fuck up a little bit and enjoy the amazing space-age future compu-phone you have right now. I could run 5 concurrent 1969 moon missions simultaneously with the processing power I have here in my pocket, which is weird when you consider how close to my crotch that actually is. Moon crotch. Future time computer phone. Relaxing. Google's alright. Yeah.

  • TylerChappell

    Aww, where's Bionic at to whine about the X Phone when you need him? lmao

  • Stocklone

    Weren't most people pissed off because they gave Google Now to iOS before giving it to people who have a pre-JB Android phone? It wasn't about not wanting to share. It would be like your dad giving your older brother some money AND the neighborhood kid on the other side of the block some money and you got nothing. These people were just looking out for their little sibling who got screwed over.

    • chupparahh

      The problem is, Google is not your dad. He's more like the guy who donated money to you in boys' home and also the orphanage across the street.

  • http://twitter.com/lordtweetsalot Demetrius Crasto

    Sounds like someone's PMSing

    • Chris

      yeah. You.

  • http://profiles.google.com/twaffle Thomas Charron

    Speak the truth, brutha!

  • DeadSOL

    Amen!

  • Neal Horowitz

    I liked the piece and largely agree with you, but I also (again, in broad strokes) agree with David. I'm not sure why this is a counterpoint really aside from the headline. I mean, you're both right--the US phone market's business model is fubar, and people going with GPe One/GS4 lose a lot of features. These things are related to an extent, but that doesn't really seem to be your point.

  • Chris

    Loved the last line... :)

    Very good, well written article. It might hit a soft spot for some, but everything you said was to the point and pretty much very true. The only ones who really give a damn about stock are the enthusiasts. If an average joe buys a stock device, it won't be because its stock. Price, the way the hardware looks/feels or maybe stock just appealed to him more then the other devices. My grandfather bought the Verizon Galaxy nexus. Only because he liked the larger screen. He knows nothing about phones.

    I thought about rooting and even did it once back on my first EVO back in early 2011, but never really got into it. I just use the phone the way it came to me but of course customize it with my own apps, backgrounds and home screen layouts. Even installed a few launchers every once in awhile.

    The way I look at it its gonna be hard to fix this. For little over three years now we had most devices with a custom skin. Stores have spots for samsung phones, HTC phones etc that are all decked out in company branding with logos, huge signs with the image of the phone and what you can do with it. Theres not really a spot for "pure google" phones and how do you attract the average joe to those phones when HTC and samsung offer much more right out of the box and might even offer a better price/discount from rebates and such?

    People should use whatever phone/platform they want and not get so worked up over another guy using a HTC phone or your best friend using an iPhone. If the phone/platform you have works for you, then so be it. Don't base your relationships with people on a damn phone.

  • http://trapchan.blogspot.com trapchan

    I said that a lot to people who keep saying "a/b/c phone is dissapointing, it doesn't live up the hype, i'll just wait for the most awesomest x phone with unicorn and rainbow" on a phone review in a tech blog ...

    glad to see someone like the author

  • http://www.baldypal.com/ BaldyPal

    Here's a conspiracy for ya: Google is going to rule the country, if not the world, one day.

  • Jesse Cohen

    I am from the future. Some of the rumors you thought were stupid were true. Others were actually about Project Ara. Ha!