Raul Julia. That's what this Virgin Mobile ad makes me think of. I'll explain that later. First, the facts. If you're a T-Mobile customer, Virgin Mobile wants your business. So much so that it's willing to give you a $100 credit if you port your number over before May 31st. Straightforward, right? Cool. Now, here: Have an octopus.

Did you ever watch Mystery Science Theater 3000? If not, you should. You can start with the episode where they watch Overdrawn at the Memory Bank. A made-for-TV movie starring Raul Julia. A man you may know better as Gomez from the Addams Family. He's a fantastic actor. And when you see him in the MST3K episode, you're overwhelmed with a surreal feeling of unease. Then they download his brain into a cube and suddenly they're ripping off Casanova while Raul Julia talks to himself. That's what this ad is like.

A psychic trio of women. A dude cuddling a shark. An endless pot of coffee. These are things that mean something. For some reason. In fact, the symbolism is very obvious. The coffee is data, you see? No, it's not figuring out what the ad is supposed to mean that's the problem. It's why. Why, you plead to the heavens, why in the world is a man in a giant brain chair trying to convince me to play on a giant ball of yarn as a cat videotapes me?

Because advertising. That's why.

Source: YouTube via TmoNews

Eric Ravenscraft
Eric is a snarky technophile with a taste for the unusual. When he's not obsessing about Android, you can usually find him obsessing about movies, psychology, or the perfect energy drink. Eric weaves his own special blend of snark, satire, and comedy into all his articles.

  • Mike Reid

    I generally hate ads.

    But as far as ads go, I found it trippy and cool.

    But my needs and the final numbers are what's important to me; not the enjoyability of some ads.

    • Steve Sy

      Its target audience probably doesn't visit AP/Engadget/AC/Gizmodo. So saving money = good, even because saving money was the customer's initial reason for choosing Tmo in the first place.

    • Kevin Aaronson

      Google soft bulletin

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/ Artem Russakovskii

      Finally, a post about the issue at hand and not VM's 3g speeds.

      • http://www.facebook.com/archercc Ryan Stewart

        Congrats, someone finally cared about your stupid advert (that isn't even available anymore) instead of mindlessly talking about the shortcomings of carrier and why you shouldn't listen to the advert.

        Stupid tech blogs and their readers who refuse to talk about marketing techniques.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000003999549 Mike Harris

          Geez, your life must be one giant bag of suck.

          • http://www.facebook.com/archercc Ryan Stewart

            Apparently my morning boredom got under your skin.

          • FrillArtist

            Or maybe he's just stating the truth.

        • FrillArtist

          It's a well known fact that Android Police takes payola to run these commercials disguised as "articles". Why do you think they don't want readers to be informed of the product/service at hand?

          • Freak4Dell

            Fact, huh? Source? I mean, I think the ad is just as stupid as you or anyone else does, but saying AP is a shill for VM is pretty preposterous.

  • nwaves

    Been on Virgin Mobile for 1.5 years. Everything is fine except for b/w speed. The best i got was 1.2 Mbps between 1 and 6 AM. You get about 150-450 kbps most times but feels like dial-up days most of the time. Plus, as with any CDMA carrier, battery life is half of a similar GSM phone. Virgin Mobile should price their service at 50% of T-Mobile to be worth it, otherwise T-Mobile wins hands down.

  • http://twitter.com/katrus LycanthropeDoomspire

    2.5 GB high speed? No thank you.

    • Goldenpins

      its the same as T-mobile $50 plan

  • Trey Holland

    It has LTE, bud. Where does TMobile have that again?.....oh, right. No Wi-Max here. (The ad says LTE if you are not deaf)

    • QwietStorm

      lol who gives a damn. I know it's literally what they're advertising, but you couldn't pay me to sign up with virgin mobile.

    • Alex C

      T-Mobile has LTE, too. So, what's the incentive to go for Virgin, again?

    • http://www.facebook.com/jerry.turnbow.1 Jerry Turnbow

      Sprint's LTE is slower than T-Mobile's 3G HSPA+. I just switched from 2 yrs of Sprint misery. I live in Dallas, which used to be okay Sprint territory, not anymore.

      • fixxmyhead

        Wow that's pathetic

      • http://www.facebook.com/archercc Ryan Stewart

        I can back Jerry up. I rarely got LTE when on Sprint despite being in one of their first markets to go "live" and when I did I got about 4-6 megs down most of. Oddly enough if i was out in some rural suburb (think 45 minutes outside of the city) I could get 25MB/s down.

        However, on T-Mobile average about 17MB/s down in the city virtually everywhere. Yeah, the theoretical max of Sprint's LTE is higher but in reality its consistently slower than HSPA+ on T-Mobile because Sprint doesnt have the towers or the back haul to support it.

        Also, no more battery rape from the second radio.

    • Chris Anderson

      Apparently Trey doesn't do his homework before he spouts off. T-Mobile has already launched LTE in several markets, and will be launching many more before the end of the year. And their HSPA+ network was already faster than competitors' LTE networks in many cities according to independent speed tests. Plus you have the LTE network/towers that T-Mobile will be acquiring when the MetroPCS merger is complete. Hey Trey, this information has been readily available for you to read online for quite some time, "if you are not blind".

    • Steve Sy

      If you listen closely its for a Samsung Galaxy 4G LTE.
      Which one was that again? >_> Norly

  • fixxmyhead

    It piggy backs off that joke network so no thanks also the phones suck ,no one of there phones is better than my nexus 4

    • barnassey thomas

      There are a couple that are pretty good for the price you pay.

  • Mario Lara

    Side note: This is a HILARIOUS post, kudos for it! :D

  • sdmark

    I was with VM for about 9 months and could live with the slooooow sprint 3g speeds....but it was plagued with multiple full data outages. I haven't had a single outage on the $30 T-Mobile plan.

    • dan

      Yup. Same here. Atrocious customer service to boot.

    • knickly

      I made that same opposite journey - VM to T-Mobile. I could never go from HSPA+ to Sprint 3G. It's ridiculous.

      • BobbyDooley

        yeah me as well!

        The guy in the ad, who is sitting in a brain, is also an actor in the movie "Behind the Candelabra".

        He seems very angry that people aren't switching, and he has to open his wallet to make people switch over.

    • Julio M

      Google Voice was my main motivation to move

    • http://www.facebook.com/archercc Ryan Stewart

      Sprint's 3G network really his horrid. I switched over to Straight Talk T-Mobile from Sprint and it is amazing the impact it had on my phone. Everything that interfaces with the internet (which is basically everything on these phones) was considerably faster.

  • Matthew Merrick

    would i ever switch to virgin mobile USA? no.

    do i love the conglomerate that is the Virgin Group more than ever now? yup.

  • Kevin Aaronson

    The terror... The flaming lips.. New album... This Friday... Wayne Coyne.. Genius...

  • dude

    This is a horrible idea. I used to be a Sprint custom, which own Virgin Mobile USA which I also used for a short time. Just horrible speed, not to mention very limited phone choices since its CDMA. The best I ever get with it around South Florida is 1mbps, but very sketchy coverage.

    I'll stick with my Nexus and T-Mobile, thank you very much.

  • Allen Robinson

    Virgin Mobile could be decent if their customer service wasn't a awful. I love how when their network stops working or they have problems with their activations, they basically call it off as a broken phone.

  • http://twitter.com/spdivr1122 Stephen

    too bad sprint 3g is completely useless

  • Mikesphoneandtab

    I wonder how Sprint still exists when it gets such bad rep in comment boxes all around the web.

    • http://www.facebook.com/archercc Ryan Stewart

      They exist but have been bleeding subscribers and employees (I'm from KC) for years. They kept telling us (I used to have Sprint), "Just wait for the upgrades, youll love it!" I first heard that 3 years ago, was told "You'll regret it! Our upgrades will be off the chain" when I left in Feb.

      They can be a bit cheaper and since they are "unlimited" they probably get some people on the simplicity of it but for anyone who uses their devices being on Sprint can be quite frustrating.

  • lljktechnogeek

    Yes, but how much is that in Bison dollars?

    • http://www.facebook.com/rayzzorsharp Michael Rayzzor Starks

      Haha this is greatness.

  • Malik

    Haha the brain jumped off the couch.

  • Slighter


  • http://googleplus.VoluntaryMan.com/ William Thieme

    What happened to the video? O.o

  • Colin Tomele

    Saw it before work, get in and want to show it to my office mate and it's already down? Wow, that was quick.

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/author/eric-ravenscraft/ Eric Ravenscraft

      Looks like the account hosting it got pulled. I replaced the embed with a different source. Apparently the old one wasn't an official Virgin Mobile account. So this one should be good now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000003999549 Mike Harris

    Eric, how much coffee have you had to drink this morning?

  • Asphyx

    While I'm sure if your live in an area that has coverage from these carriers they provide a very good and affordable service...

    But truth is I wish they would spend less on TV commercials and put the money to expanding their coverage so that I might actually be able to have the choice of moving to them as a carrier instead of being locked into Verizon who is the only one whose map says I get full speed data coverage and not merely 2G voice capability.

    They can advertise all the want on TV but it's wasted money, not because their marketing isn't good but that even if they convince me to try them when I get to the store they go Sorry we don't cover your area well enough to sign you up and give whatever it is I promised in that commercial.

  • http://www.facebook.com/nickdrakewhat Nick Drake

    Nope. Virgin mobile = Sprint and I jumped that ship for a reason.

  • UABlazin

    My Sprint contract ends next month and I wanted to switch to TMobile. I checked coverage areas though and the vast majority of my daily commute route has no TMobile coverage at all. Too bad.

    The Sprint LTE Network covers the entire area. I may be an exception but I'll take slow 4G over no coverage at all.