It's time for us to come clean. We've been collectively living a lie, Android fans. Hiding our deepest desires and hoping they go away. Praying that maybe, Duarte willing, that we'll get something that's close enough that we'll be satisfied. But no more! Today, we shed the façade and embrace the truth: all we really want is a clean, simple UI that's not cluttered by drawers, widgets, or icons in shapes other than rounded squares. Oh yes, and slide-to-unlock. Glorious slide-to-unlock. Well, now we can have it with the Screen Locker plugin for Espier Launcher.

The plugin is an addition to the Espier Launcher that gives you the look and feel of the OS you've always dreamed of. You'll have to enable it in the Espier Hub, but that just gives you the added experience of being able to flip one of those satisfying blue switches. Once it's on, you can set a four-digit numeric passcode (patterns are silly), and finally participate in the slide-to-unlock craze that's revolutionizing the world.

Both the launcher and the lock screen are free on the Play Store right now. Grab them, and fulfill your destiny.

Haha, I'm just kidding. I'd never let anything that looks like iOS near my Nexus. But hey, it might be a good, last-minute way to prank your friends.