"Hi, honey. Sorry I'm late I-...Yes, I know I didn't call. I-...Well, my battery died. Nothing I can do about that, bab-...*sigh* Yes, you're right. I should've listened to you when you told me to get the RAZR MAXX HD. As usual, you were right and I was wrong and next time I'll be sure to do exactly as you say without-... I am not taking a tone with you! ...Well, what do you want me to say? ...Fine. Whatever. Love you."

Ah, romance is in the air! And, as Motorola highlights, it's time to celebrate the bonds we share with the people closest to us with some good, old-fashioned cryptic threats:


Okay, sure, it seems like Motorola is being a little cynical in regards to how love works. Yes, it reeks of bitterness that it thinks the language of "love" is spoken in harsh, controlling, possessive tones. Maybe it's not Moto's fault, though. After all, we were the ones who gave up on it after the RAZR. Oh sure, we smiled and flirted back like the old days when the original Droid came out, but the magic was gone. We left it clinging to memories of a better time.

Motorola has become a shell of its former self. Unable to believe in life after love, the best it can hope for is a pleasant evening out without a fight. Just one. Is that too much to ask for? Can we please have a meal without it turning into "Who didn't update who to Jelly Bean?" We have company, for crying out loud! You're embarrassing us in public! Oh, but I suppose that's what you want, isn't it? You want to cause a scene? You want everyone to know that Motorola doesn't feel good in the hand!


...Look, this is rough. We both acknowledge that. Things are changing in all our lives. Motorola is going through some changes at work right now. The new bosses are coming in, moving everything around, people are getting fired left and right and the whole product line is just in chaos while the mess gets sorted. The stress of that is spilling over and that's not fair to consumers. I...I know Motorola can do better. I know we can do better.

Please, for the sake of the children, can we just...start over with X phone?

Source: Twitter

Eric Ravenscraft
Eric is a snarky technophile with a taste for the unusual. When he's not obsessing about Android, you can usually find him obsessing about movies, psychology, or the perfect energy drink. Eric weaves his own special blend of snark, satire, and comedy into all his articles.

  • EMullins

    It's not just Motorola, Eric. It's our "progressive" and "tolerant" Western culture in general that encourages people to distrust one another, screw each other over, and reduce relationships to nothing more than sex and money, creating a generation of chronic masturbators, manchildren, limp-wristed sissies, skanks, feminists, and self-entitled divas.

    Seeya on the podcast!

    • jaduncan


    • Rex_D

      Hey! Don't knock mastubating!

    • http://www.facebook.com/toni.simard Toni Simard

      Hell ya!!

  • mrsbelpit

    More likely that it's Verizon who's the asshole here.

    • mrsbelpit

      Oops, I see it's Moto's twitter. Of course, Verizon is probably still responsible for their bad attitude.

      • http://www.androidpolice.com/author/eric-ravenscraft/ Eric Ravenscraft

        If the internet taught us anything, it's that there are always enough assholes to go around. ;)

        • Kevin Taber

          Moto still isn't as big of an asshole as my ex wife is lol

  • Freak4Dell

    Motorola is like an abusive significant other for me. I'm really mad at them for delaying the JB update for the RAZR i. But then, who am I kidding...I'll be in love with them again in a couple of weeks.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1312291338 Tim Miller

      As an ex-Bionic owner I can assure you, they won't ever be forgiven in my eyes.

      • Kevin Taber

        Or myself as an ex photon owner

      • Scott

        At least they are promising Jelly Bean. But yeah the Bionic was screwed from the beginning.

      • Rex_D

        Anyone who actually bought the Bionic after the release fiasco deserves what they got.

  • Chemlo

    Motorola perpetuating gender stereotypes of women being manipulative (everybody is manipulative). Pretty crappy on their part.

    • http://twitter.com/sam1am John Samuel αΩ

      My dating life has also reinforced these stereotypes. Which is disappointing.

  • JonJJon

    Where are the on-screen system buttons? ;P

  • http://www.facebook.com/archercc Ryan Stewart

    Um, Im in a relationship so I cant be that bitter but I think its pretty on base.... historically that is how its worked with girls.

  • FUVerizon

    I was one of those dumbasses that made the mistake of buying that piece of shit Bionic! Learned my lesson well! Motorola has lost me forever and I will tell everyone how big a piece of shit they and verizon both are!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/toni.simard Toni Simard

    The RAZR m n Verizon r left over fuck stains on a $5 hookers $2 pair of heels