06
Feb
predicktortiny

A doctor did this. Before I get any deeper into this story, I want to point out that a person with the prefix "Dr." in front of his name—Dr. Christopher Culligan, a Canadian ER physician and instructor at the University of Toronto Faculty of Medicine, to be precise—is responsible for this mobile app that promises to infer a man's size based on a variety of factors. This criteria includes but is not limited to height, shoe size, butt size and whether the man is gay or straight. Seriously.

2013-02-06 14.50.35 2013-02-06 14.49.25 2013-02-06 14.52.03

I can't believe I actually get to write these words, but of all the apps I've seen that promise to measure a man's member, this has to be the best. While I'm completely skeptical of its ability to predict with any degree of reliability (I will not be fielding questions as to its accuracy), I'd be lying if I didn't giggle when confronted with "Shake to calculate." In related news, I am twelve years old.

Once you've got your prediction, though, there's even more fun to be had. Entertaining facts from scientific studies, comparisons to populations from other countries. Heck, you can even share with your friends. How delightful! Hey everyone on Twitter! I have some information you might be interested in! There's a huge list of ready-made status to choose from, so have a ball.

The video is even better. Please do yourself a favor and watch it. While there is almost certainly some handy information in there (turns out size might not actually matter!), it is worth two minutes of your time to find out which of the people depicted is huge in Greenland.

This app is only intended for humorous purposes. It also accomplishes its goal.

Doctor-Led Company Unveils The Predicktor, a Mobile App That Predicts Penis Size

Ultimate conversation starter answers the question: "What's in the package?"

TORONTO, Feb. 6, 2013 /PRNewswire/ - The Doctor Says Inc. today introduced The Predicktor, a fun and factual mobile app that predicts penis size using personal stats like height and finger length.

How do you stack up to your friends? Is that a cell phone in your date's pocket? The Predicktor (www.thepredicktor.com) has the answers.

The app's calculator uses only physical attributes proven by scientific research to be associated with penis length and discards all others, like race.

"The Predicktor is an entertaining antidote to the widespread insecurity, anxiety and dissatisfaction among men over their penis size," says Dr. Christopher Culligan , a family physician and CEO of mobile health app developer The Doctor Says.

The new app takes a prickly subject into the open, busts a few myths, and adds a few laughs on the way. To get the conversation going, it offers instant access to the facts. For example: 

  • There is no scientific evidence to support a connection between race and penis size.
  • Porn stars are statistical outliers, not the norm; men are more likely to be over 6'3" than to have a penis longer than 7.5 inches.
  • Gay men's penises are longer and wider on average than straight men's, according to a Kinsey Institute study.

The Predicktor is available immediately for Android smartphones via www.thedoctorsays.com. A Blackberry version will be available later this week.

Eric Ravenscraft
Eric is a snarky technophile with a taste for the unusual. When he's not obsessing about Android, you can usually find him obsessing about movies, psychology, or the perfect energy drink. Eric weaves his own special blend of snark, satire, and comedy into all his articles.

  • ProductFRED

    For $3?

    I'd rather use a couple of rulers.

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/author/eric-ravenscraft/ Eric Ravenscraft

      "a couple of rulers"

      Upvote for a chuckle.

    • NemaCystX

      I think the idea is to predickt OTHER peoples without tearing their pants off

      • fodawim

        But tearing their pants off is most of the fun!

        • http://www.modminecraft.com/ Nick Coad

          You're going to jail.

        • http://www.androidpolice.com/ Artem Russakovskii

          Especially using a couple of rulers.

          • paxmos

            Or just your girlfriend!!!

        • HopelesslyFaithful

          you know if this was 10 years ago i would say your a chick right...just checking....but in todays world i don't know if your a dude girl...or a thing...or if you swing in 25 different directions.

          • fodawim

            Gay guy, so nope no chick. Times be a changin'

          • fixxmyhead

            not sure if trolling or being serious but still disgusting

          • fodawim

            Not sure if being homophobic or just a religious nut case. Either way don't really think that is appropriate for this site.

          • HopelesslyFaithful

            both comments are unneeded

          • fixxmyhead

            just homophobic. im an atheist

          • Abhigyan

            All the upvotes to this sir right here.

    • HopelesslyFaithful

      someone is a chronic liar

  • SenseOffender

    Why would you pay so much for that?

  • Wayne Randall

    "..so have a ball."

    I thought this was about dicks?

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/author/eric-ravenscraft/ Eric Ravenscraft

      It can be about more than one thing! :D

      • http://www.androidpolice.com/ Artem Russakovskii

        So. Many. Puns. Must. Resist.

    • http://twitter.com/misterE33 Mr E

      heck, have two!

  • http://twitter.com/misterE33 Mr E

    Let's see this on Apple's app store

    • PCSievers

      They only just realised that 3.5" isnt adequate last year.

      • QwietStorm

        ZING

      • Cherokee4Life

        i laughed out loud sir, laughed out loud!

  • Román Rodríguez

    WTF App of the month? Lol. XD

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/ Artem Russakovskii

      It's a candidate.

  • fodawim

    Also :( it just crashes on my Nexus 4

    • CuriousCursor

      Check the logs, maybe it's an InvalidSizeException :p

      • rocker

        either too large or.. too small
        :D

  • HotInEER

    Who needs a ruler. If you pull it out and she doesn't say OMG that is huge. Than your average to small. Thankfully, I get that a lot.

    • Cherokee4Life

      you might want to re-organize your comment, because i read it as people tell you your average to small a lot. WHICH IS Totally OKAY..... *little chuckle*

    • LeDerpino

      You get a lot that you're avg to small. Herpa derpa !?

      • Layman76

        They don't think it be like is, but it do.

    • Ivan Myring

      Hah! Tiny penis!
      Mine is 6 yards long!
      Maybe...

    • http://www.ellianth.com Ellianth

      That or she's been around and nothing surprises her anymore. I'm with the other people who read that as people telling you your manhood is tiny all the time; thanks for the laugh :p.

  • Allallon

    Really? "So have a ball"? You went there? LOL

  • flosserelli

    I wonder if the app asks you what kind of vehicle you drive. Because everyone knows that (most of) the guys in Hummers, Porsches and Ferarris are compensating for something...

    • bobby lee

      Have you checked to make sure?

    • lolwut

      what kind of compensation ? I dont get it lol..

  • https://steamcommunity.com/id/m-p-3 m-p{3}

    And this thing costs something?
    What the fuck..

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/ Artem Russakovskii

      It's not like it costs an arm and a leg. Just a dick.

      • József Király

        Well if you value your dick for only 3$... :D

        • John O’Connor

          or have a 3 dollar/inch or less?

      • John O’Connor

        in that case, mine is priceless, but then again it's not for sale. I happily spent the $3 myself, and you know what, it is accurate.

  • HopelesslyFaithful

    psh that sigh what a ruler is for....sigh

  • HopelesslyFaithful

    what we really need is an app that listens to a chicks voice and can tell you if she is hot!!!! That would be a money maker. Call the chick up and the thing goes all wacky and red and hangs up for you if it thinks she is ugly...would save a lot of useless trips and awkward situations of oh no! my grandma died i got to go!

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/ Artem Russakovskii

      Have you ever seen an average hotline girl? The voice is hot, but that's where it ends. An app like that would be too inaccurate.

      • sssgadget

        You seem to be an expert in that ;)

        • HopelesslyFaithful

          lol...i think we all know that though. Was just saying it would be cool if it was possible...i mean i see this voice stuff in the movies all the time right?!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000003999549 Mike Harris
  • Demetrius Beasley

    Sooo I'm supposed to pay $3 to guess the size of another man's junk. Because an app to guess the size of your own is beyond stupid. And the only way this should have appeared on this site is as a wtf app. I'm disappointed (enough to put my name on it) cause the tone i took from the article is that we should be buying this? Am I way off here?

    • http://www.androidpolice.com/author/eric-ravenscraft/ Eric Ravenscraft

      You're kinda off. The tone of this article is that this is hilarious. Whether you buy it is up to you, but everyone should watch that video.

      • John O’Connor

        aaaah crap, there's a video? damn pop-up play on samsung, i must have glanced over while it was loading. time to watch the video

        EDIT: OMG, that video.. hahaha the Spanish guy!

  • gladgura

    Not a good article to pop-up while at work. got written up for inappropriate internet use.

    • John O’Connor

      be sure to inform them that you and the other employees would appreciate the installation of suicide nets posthaste. What poppycock

  • Joe

    Anybody notice the first review on Play Store for this app? This dude says, "Mine is 8.5 inches but the calculator says 5.5 inches it's off by 3 inches it's not worth to buy." I'm going to go ahead and assume we're ALL going to call bulls*** on that douche bag...if anything it actually OVER-predicted by a couple inches, LOL

    • Joe

      Also, it seems odd that it doesn't seem to incorporate the infamous "black" factor into the equation...

      • John O’Connor

        I did see the review (can't tell if the review is serious or not), but instead of using douchebag; let's just call a dick a dick...

    • TylerChappell

      It sounds like you have penis envy. Some people really are 8.5 ya know...and sometimes those people aren't tall either, or black.

  • sinisterc

    So... Eric Ravenscraft's dick is 6.4 inches long?

    • John O’Connor

      Oh now that's just sinister, sinisterc. Did you make sure that you got the ass measurement right?

  • Rozz

    Awesome Tags Eric :))
    "a doctor made this" "no really a doctor"