If seeing a company's executive chairman performing a vaguely-sexual, somewhat-equestrian dance for a room full of South Korean employees doesn't make stock prices soar, I honestly can't fathom what would. Eric Schmidt, seen below getting his white-boy groove on Gangnam style, was in Korea to discuss Google's new product Google Pelvic Thrusts. Unbeknownst to the former-CEO, while inside Korean borders, if a person discusses any form of lower abdominal movements, the entire room is legally required to break out in the trendy song and dance.
Once the chairman was finished riding invisible bareback, he informed the team that they would be hiring Korean Demitri Martin to bring the fledgling Google Pelvic Thrusts product to fruition. The project, in the same vein as Google's self-driving cars initiative, will automate the process of performing those crazy waist-down moves that you always seem to flub when you attempt to re-create the dance with your friends. In this way, Google hopes to make the process of achieving makeouts with red-headed ladies on the subway at least 50% more efficient. The search giant will then use the data acquired from users of the service to improve its dancing algorithms. Said Schmidt on the subject:
"It's amazing to me that we let some humans dance. It's a bug that dancing was invented before computers. We hope that our system will eliminate the unnecessary embarrassment and shame that comes from mistakes being made by humans behind the wheel of their own legs."
Eric Schmidt's comments were met with mixed criticisms. While everyone present agreed that eliminating shame was a noble goal, some are worried that with Google controlling a user's style and ability to get "sexay laday," people might be less likely to learn to dance manually, and the art may be lost. Said one commenter on the subject, "Some days I just want to be able to dance for myself. If Google or the government takes away my right to thrust my pelvis in any style I choose, I'm moving to Canada."