[Sunday Android Fun] Developer Goes Hilariously Ballistic In His Own App's Description + Entrance Music Every Time You Walk Into The Office

It's Sunday night, and as the news fairy is getting ready to go to sleep, I'm really itching to highlight a few things that caught my attention earlier today, for those who aren't following us on Twitter, Facebook, or Google+ (really, you should be).

1. Entrance Music

Have you ever wanted to be greeted by your own entrance music the same way boxers do when they enter the ring? Imagine music from Rocky or Eye Of The Tiger starts playing at your desk, and 10 seconds later you roll into the office like a champ.

fat_bloated_jesus from reddit has been doing just that for some time now, using a Jambox (which is a Bluetooth speaker), his Android device, and Tasker:

So I bought a Jawbone Jambox bluetooth speaker since the Xoom speakers are not all that loud and I like to listen to music at work.

The speaker stays in the office most of the time so I came up with a idea. I wanted theme music to start playing when I got to work in the morning.

I wrote a simple Tasker program that turns the volume up and plays a random song from my Entrance Music folder every time I connect to the Jambox.

It works out that it connects right after I enter the building. I have classics such as The Shaft Theme, Superfly, Just Dropped In, Hotel California (Big Lebowski version), Little Green Bag and Stayin' Alive.

On the down side my boss now knows as soon as I enter the building.

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For those who want to know:

Profile Speaker ON Bluetooth Connected Task Media Volume Wait 2 Sec Music Play Dir Entrance Music Audio Only Random ON.

Profile Speaker OFF Bluetooth Connected (Inverted) Music Stop Off.

Yeah, my monthly supply of "epic" which should be used very sparingly in today meme-saturated world has just been depleted. My only concern is with the range of a Bluetooth signal (about 30 feet) and potential connection delay, possibly preventing entrance music from going off at the right moment - it will all depend on your office configuration, I suppose. Perhaps someone can come up with a way to do this via Wi-Fi...

2. Developer Goes Ballistic

When @Drigalizm on Twitter sent me a link to BMI Calculator by Woytek, I couldn't stop laughing for the next 10 minutes while reading the app's description. Your reaction on Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, and Google+ has been overwhelming too, so I had to share with you, the readers, as well.

The developer, disgruntled by 1-star reviews and downloaders who don't pay attention, don't read, etc. lost his cool and updated the official description with whatever was on his mind. I'll just say that there was a lot on his mind (in case he removes it, I've preserved it here).

It's a well known fact that some Market commenters, hiding behind their anonymity, leave absolutely moronic, idiotic, stupid, condescending, unhelpful reviews - the list goes on and on. This is the first case I've seen of a developer really "standing up to them," in his own way, by completely losing it. And while the reasons for it are less than positive, the end result is absolutely hilarious. Have a look yourself:

Calculate your Body Mass Index (BMI).
For adults, men and women.

I'm so bored with persons like Dora and other. Why are you so STUPID ?!
CHANGE ****THE UNITS**** and USE ****INCHES**** NOT FEET !

- Dora, 5'2 = 62 inches, and 62 inches with 120lbs = 21.94 BMI !!!
- Charles and Erik, you are not obese, juste stupid.
- Yes Charles, if you put 6 FEET in the INCHES text field and 175 lbs, yes the calculation can't be right. 6 foot = 72 inches with 175lbs = 23.73 BMI !!!
My application can not guess that you have not learned to read
- Tom, 25.38, OMG, yes, more than 25 your are overweight, BUT if you exceeded by only 0.38, or 1, seriously! think a little! A lipo between your ears to get to 25? It's on the house!
- tyler, non, and you, are you kidding ? BMI is calculated ONLY with Height and Weight (see wikipedia).

IT'S WRITTEN
***Weight/lbs*** | ***Tall/inches*** IF you choose IMPERIAL UNITS (menu button) OR
***Weight/kg*** | ***Tall/cm*** IF you choose METRIC UNITS (menu button)

AND I want to thank those who took the time to understand this simple app.

This app is a "Body Mass Index Calculator".

BMI cannot be accurate for "athletes" or "muscular persons" ! It's written bellow, in the description of this app ! >>> "The result is valid for "normal" children/adults/m/f (but not for the muscular persons or "athletes"). The BMI formula is UNIQUE, for everybody.

Why there is no GENDER and AGE ?! Again, it's written at the end of the description.
**** The only thing that differs between adults and children is the "reading table". I give you a "general reading table" for ADULTS ONLY (Health Organizations did this, not me) ! The reading tables may differ between country or population (but really not so much... even if they exists). There is a more precise reading table for children 5/19 years made by WHO (World Health Organization : www.who.int). The general reading table is just an INDICATION. If you want some "real" information about your condition, ask your doctor ***

My current BMI is 24.81, 1kg more and OMAGAD I'm in "overweight". And what ? I lift some weights, I run, I'm relatively muscled so there is nonsense to calculate my BMI. If you do sport, if you are in god shape, why do you want criticize a tool who isn't made for you ?

If you start doing some sport, you can use this application to calculate your "first" BMI. When you begin to lose fat and gain muscle, you (maybe) will arrive in the "normal" zone. From there, if you continue to lose fat without gaining too much muscle, you can still calculate your BMI, the reading table will remain accurate for you. By cons, if you keep gaining muscle (AND/OR losing fat), from a certain point, calculate your BMI has absolutely no sense.

Features:
* Units: metric(cm - kg)/imperial(lbs - inches) (Use the menu button for changing that)
* Languages: English, Italian, French, Spanish, German, Croatian, Korean
* Long click on the result's zone to reset

FOR CHANGING UNITS, USE THE MENU BUTTON!
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THE TALL IS IN INCHES (YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THE UNITS IN THE MENU, METRIC IS SELECTED BY DEFAULT) ! SO IF YOU CANNOT READ ENGLISH AND IF YOU TRIED TO PUT "FEET & INCHES" IN THE "INCHES BOX", THE CALCULATION WILL BE WRONG!

[EMBED_APP]https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=free.wk.mybodymass[/EMBED_APP]

This about wraps it up for the Sunday Lulz. I hope you've enjoyed our picks - they're all in good fun.